Tell you one thing I'm gonna make noise when I go down.

New blog

2007-02-23T17:17:00.000-08:00

Hey.
Pssssst.
Follow the link for my new, super totally not-well built yet blog.
Yay!

Suicidal marketing

2007-02-14T05:24:00.000-08:00

I used to be a great fan of SG - after all I have a thing for pin-up aesthetic, Petty Page, corsets, gothic fashion, piercing and the like. I discovered the site back in 2003 (2004?) and at the beginning it was a very-underground mouvement. A couple of dozens girls were posting pictures and the effort to make it a female, sex-positive environment was clear. My doubts began to grow when Nerve.com (another site I did read religiously, and still somehow regard as a sex-positive, edgy community) started to aggresively promote Suicide Girls (the models, not the site) as a brand. Today I stumbled upon this:

"Alterna-chick apologists for SG-style pornulation (...) point to the website’s purported (and invisible) “female-positive” stance as evidence that Suicide Girls models are not exploited like conventional Penthousian objets de smutte. Naturally, there are ex-Suicide Girls who, noting that the site re-pimps their photos to hardcore sites as they decline in popularity with the SG staff, and that subscribers to the decidedly un-feminist Playboy have free access to SG, see things rather differently."

Absolutely disapointing, not to mention downright exploitive. In many ways SG's downfall reminds me of American Apparel (1) and the like: companies and sites that truly aimed for the best, but truly got lost along the way.

SG? I'll switch to Fatal Beauty for this kind of imagery instead.

(1) AA and unions.

Valentine Day : get fucked or die trying pt 2.

2007-02-14T04:42:00.000-08:00

I am not sure what is going to happen this year, but last year Valentine's "Adbusted" project was a complete success: One year ago with Boris.

I must say I enjoyed this (somehow anti vday) post: I fall down you get up not a sound between us.

For more academic reads I enjoyed this #, as well as Danah Boyd's take on "gifts".

I love sex education

2007-02-12T13:47:00.000-08:00

Meanwhile, on planet earth

2007-01-19T14:01:00.000-08:00

While I am off learning some web authoring lessons, you might be entertained by my flickR account (sorry Buzznet).

Eep! I'll be back as soon as I can (when I can finally design a blog correctly).

.

2006-12-14T07:07:00.000-08:00

Your 'Do You Want the Terrorists to Win' Score: 96%

You are a terrorist-loving, Bush-bashing, "blame America first"-crowd traitor. You are in league with evil-doers who hate our freedoms. By all counts you are a liberal, and as such cleary desire the terrorists to succeed and impose their harsh theocratic restrictions on us all. You are fit to be hung for treason! Luckily George Bush is tapping your internet connection and is now aware of your thought-crime. Have a nice day.... in Guantanamo!

Do You Want the Terrorists to Win?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Gone fishing.

2006-11-03T03:24:00.000-08:00

If birthdays are a way the secretly evaluate how many people actually remember you and/or make some effort and send you a note and/or an email, then today only three persons thought about me: my husband, and three Micepace friends. Granted, it is only 11.38 - but I'm probably going to sulk if Geoffrey, Costa and Boris do not send me an email before 6.

/ vapid.

I have a terrible birthday history, from having Bush re-elected two years ago when I was in Vancouver to going and see an awful gig last year. However i received an interesting birthday present this morning - a true monument of pop culture: a 8 black ball with have magic powers, and which can (apparently) read my future.

After a turned it upside down for a couple of seconds this morning, it said my birthday was going to be good.

(You are) a series of tubes

2006-11-01T10:25:00.000-08:00

I truly miss (personal) blogging.

Hopefully will be able to start again in a few weeks, with a new computer. I cannot wait to resume my online activities (non work related) and get active in every online projects I left when I moved to London.

I also really want another template but would have to learn how to make goodlooking blogs, and it certainly is not exactly my forte. I am pumped about all those cool web2.0 applications I did not have the time to use with a personal account, and god - how weird does it feel to realise that you truly miss talking to friends, most of which are only to be found on the blogosphere or Network(ing) sites these days?

I did not realise how dependent I was to Networking sites and blogs up until now - when I foudn myself being Internet-less in my free time. Then again a simple geographical explanation would be sufficient, all my friends live abroad (France, Canada, China, Spain, you name it). And that's an uncomfortable situation to be in when you can't communicate with them as often as you'd like - but then again I should be used to it by now.

In other news, in our new place you can climb on the roof and see a great part of London (the City, mainly). It's absolutely amazing; and I will gladly take pictures soon.

Boris, this week end I wish I was you...

2006-10-06T08:13:00.000-07:00

I'm off to Brussels for the week end. Ugh, now I wish I could remember my European Institutions class' content from my 1st year at University...

For those interested, Ryan Adams was extremely good live last weekend. A melancholic (and sick with a vicious cold) version of a country-ish Kurt Cobain.

Patrick Wolf was equally good : cute, fairylike and uplifting. While some hated him, M. liked him a lot, and I am a fan - amongst an ocean of emo 16 years old....

Aurelie: si tu lis mon blog....

2006-08-31T06:47:00.000-07:00

Aurelie, one of my best friend, co-creator of Volte Face*, intrepid reporter and fabulous feminist is off to China (Nankin) for 10 months with her boyfriend. Aurelie, I'll miss you dearly, and more than everything I will miss our passionate discussions, your enthusiasm and watching you kicking Remi's ass while debating the (non) merits of capitalism.

Boris and I (and maybe M?) will see you in China for New Year, as promised back in the Kenland pub in Rennes a couple of months ago (1)....

You've been an true inspiration to me this year, a source of wisdom, calm and courage (2), even if Boris and I still hate your organic fairly traded tea/chocolate/tee-shirts/furniture/bread/vegetables/everything.

*Don't bother looking at the blog, the internet content sucked. But our paper-based kick ass zine was brilliant, and we passed it on to activists as we all left town for good this summer.

(1) Well, let's just say I'm 60% sure it will happen, because you know I'm afraid I'll get lost in Shangai and I don't think Boris will be any good at finding directions.

(2) It sounds bad and painfully unoriginal, but it's true.

Some lost words said on the beach.

2006-08-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

[...] thats okay, all english speaking people are like that, their brains are secretly like OMIGOD THERE'S ANOTHER LANGUAGE TOO? THEY HAVE WORDS TOO? OMG [in an email sent sometimes this year].

I don't really know how to articulate this without coming off as a discussion-traitor, but the best thing about hanging out with someone for long periods of time is this : you are increasingly more self-conscious and realise the impact your person [your words, body, actions] has on the other one but you also gradually let go and not care about such an interpersonal force/power* anymore.

The dialogue was coming out of nowhere - my intention was solely to fish for lost details or shared impressions.

"What was your favourite part of the week end so far?"

"Watching you I think"

"Doing what?"

"I don't know... Talk to people, move, all those things"

While such a comment would usually be welcomed with a forced-creeped out smile and hordes of negative comments if uttered by a stranger, it was welcolmed by an intrigued and genuinely amused smile when uttered by him.

[Meaning if he is watching and I'm conscious of the process, fear linked to his capacity of judgement progressively falls into oblivion since I am happy with the conclusion he might reach, no matter what it can be.]

* Whether the force is a life sucking, dark or light and uplifting one has yet to be decided. Surely it is both, which makes things even more interesting.

And there goes the metaphor....

2006-07-04T10:24:00.000-07:00

"Comprendra qui voudra"...

Blog sabatical

2006-06-29T03:17:00.000-07:00

Given that my laptop has been savagely stolen (London is a zoo! Fucking thief! Fucking hell I WILL FIND YOU! THREE YEARS OF ACADEMIC DISSERTATIONS! And 1000 pictures! GONE!) and that I won't blog at work, I think I'll re-enter the blogosphere once I own an I-book.

Soon enough, but not RIGHT now. Feel my pain - Jessica laptopless = hysterical Jessica.

Another feminist rant or what?

2006-06-15T10:19:00.000-07:00

If something will ever push me to not have babies, this might be it. Women as babymakingmachines ?

"New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves—and to be treated by the health-care system—as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon," reports the Washington Post. "[T]his means all women between first menstrual period and menopause should take folic acid supplements, refrain from smoking, maintain a healthy weight and keep chronic conditions such as asthma and diabetes under control... [I]t's important that women follow this advice throughout their reproductive lives, because about half of pregnancies are unplanned and so much damage can be done to a fetus between conception and the time the pregnancy is confirmed."

Bush is starting a war supporting his own heterowhitenormative values.

Surprising?

Nope.

My point is that while a lot of Americans seem to think Bush is only attacking homosexuality (which he is, with his wish to change the constitution, etc), he's also pushing his conservative agenda on women in general, queer, bi, pansexual, straight or not.... His disguised attacks on homosexuals push straight politically-center-right-but-socially-conservative voters/women/wifes to agree with him.

However while they think this new dynamics will never directly touch them, these new laws will. There's been a shift from a never ending fight gainats abortion to a fight against contraception as well, and the 'contraception mentality' which is seen by Republicans as the core element separating sex and 'family values' - an element that is therefore not desireable and to be eliminated. I.e, for them contraception is a form of abortion too. So yes indeed, as you said, women are babymaking machines in their eyes, either that or we shouldn't have sex if it's for non reproductive purposes (even if you're already married with kids... 'We are opposed to sex before marriage and contraception within marriage' says one catholic activist... I think they long for women having 10+ children again, how feudal is it?).

Openly gay columnist Dan Savage has been trying to underline in his latest columns. He says:

The unbearable lightness of being happy.

2006-06-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

Well nobody seemed to enjoy my binary coded update. I became somehow fed up with the blogosphere in the past weeks seeing that:

- I wrote 100 pages about it in 3 weeks and it's enough to overdose on anything 'wired'*

- I don't have Internet @ home** for now

- I am paid to deal with forums and blogs all day long

- London's e-cafes usually make me want to cry

- I have a life (...I know!!! How silly it is to always realise that your internet consumption decrease as your life and activities increase? Makes me ponder on the content of the past 5 years of my life, really...)

* Makes me think, last week my husband stated that Wired was 'so 90's' and kind of passe. I begged to differ, even if I do realise that Wired's hours of glory were circa 1995 when Coupland wrote pieces for them.

** Houseshare in an IKEA-ish (...) flat in a very cool aera of East London, with two Italians and one New Zealander. I hate IKEA, but I love the flat.

I had a weird conversation with Mohammed on Friday night, in which I tried to explain something that never happened to me before. I am, as for right now, quite contempt and happy with my life. While years and years of living in France were spent trying to forge a plan to escape the country forever, now I actually done it and secured a place to live and a job and well, a new life in less than a couple of weeks, I don't really feel to need to run away.

Yet.

Mohammed, being the eternal optimist, underlined that happiness was very realtive and such a state of mind does not last. I said well, it's reassuring.

And I meant it. Being contempt sends brains into a lethargic state which provoke laziness.

That said, being depressed does just the same thing.

----------------------

This is something I wrote to someone when I came back from Canada to France last June. A year ago already. Those periods of transition between countries are always eerie and just plain Bizzare.

"When I last talked to you I was standing in the boarding aera of Montreal's airport; trying to use all my 25 cents change phoning you before leaving the country. The flight was uneventful, we did not sleep, and watched Ocean's 12; which is bad but you are right, good fashion designers were hired.

Upon our arrival Boris and I were both drunk (both with the free gin tonic Air Canada gave us, and truly what was exhaustion). It's funny how true it is that french people are mean compared to people from Quebec, who are always smiling and helpful. My first contact with France was the policeman asking for my passport; which he violently grabbed from my hand without even a 'Bonjour', looking at me suspiciously. Same happened for Boris, but it got us lauughing; that's how people are in France: they don't give a fuck about being fakely polite...but quite franky it is ridiculous most of the times.

We then spent a good hour trying to pick up our suitcases. You have to understand the Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris is probably the less organized one in the world; it is huge and round (!!), which makes it extremely difficult to find your way inside. So after fighting with two or three bitchy people, and after being disgusted at the sight of topless Quebecois fat hairy men changing their t-shirt in front of everyone (it is my understanding that french people are too conservative when it comes to this kind of things, while Americans don't have complexes, see obese girls in mini skirts just because they can, that would never happen in France), we finally found our way out and chain-smoked (Players light for me... I still have a part of Canada with me this way, and smile everytime i light one).

When i finally arrived home it was a bit too much for me. It is all too depressing, coming back to a city like this one after living with close to 2 million of people in Vancouver. Everything feels like i left last week. What hurts the most I think is being able to move automatically in the house, find my way without thinking. Even after 9 months abroad, I have this instinctive way of doing things around the house, like turning the TV on or sitting on the same sofa or how to start the microwave.

It reminds me of a silent yet deafeaning routine I thought I'd escape for good going to Vancouver and leaving France, and it's killing me. So many little details I can't cope with here, the news with the same old showmen, and the same weathermen on tv, and the ads, the newspapers in french everywhere, the way signs on the road are different then they are in Canada, everything seems to underline the fact that I liked life there better because I somehow fitted.

(...) Me, coming back here makes me more determined to leave again, everything around me is devilishly screaming 'Jessica you don't belong there'. I am just really glad I am off to London now, because if I had stayed here, at home; for the whole summer, I don't doubt I would be the most unhappy person on earth. London will save me for the summer at least."

Ahhh, and one year later I find myself in London again, this time for more than two months, and this time definitely, infinitely more happy than I was a year ago.

Update: I <3 London, Microserfs reference, Binary code.

2006-06-09T09:38:00.000-07:00

As an update, well there's too much to say really but ths sums up the beginning of a lovely story that had been evolving in the shadows for a while now...

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"I can't believe I'm dating a feminist." vs "I can't believe I'm dating a blogger", which one would you choose?

2006-05-12T18:35:00.000-07:00

[In about two weeks I'll be working in London, forever (well, who knows) done with research papers and 90 pages dissertations, and most likely blogging again. Until then....]

"The most powerfully staged photo ops in the world"

2006-05-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

"Let's review the rules. Here's how it works. The president makes decisions, he’s the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know--fiction."

Even if I never watched his show, the man is definitely my new media hero.

[Thank you Mister Colbert.]

Once again anyone telling me that blogs are useless when it comes to news feeding and debate because the media cover news the exact same way and plus! they are professionals! can f*** right off.

Very few in the Great Mediatic Institutions of France/Europe/US mentionned Colbert's act of courage (a consensus concerning what adjective would be the most appropriate to qualify Colbert seems to be reached amongst the blogopshere. It appears to be 'ballsy'), while everyone drolled over the fact that Bush's little joke involving his staged alter ego was, like, so funny. When really, it was more innapropriate than anything else.

Meanwhile, community-edited blogs, wiki, personal blogs were heavily discussing what Colbert did. Which was, oh, simply destroying the whole US media enterprise in a matter of seconds, and this within 5 feet of POTUS.

Navrée.

2006-04-28T10:56:00.000-07:00

This is how I looked like when I realised that I still had just about 50 pages about 'GenX-Yers: between self-presentation and media representation' to write, and under 10 days to do so (this moment of pressure-inducing enlightment took place about 4 minutes ago). I can't wait to begin my proper real job. No I really can't wait, you have NO IDEA.

I am the Water Boy, the real game's not over here.

2006-04-24T16:51:00.000-07:00

Trivia learned thanks to Romain-the-rock-music-critic:

- Lou Reed's 'perfect day' is an ode to a day spent without an heroin injection.

It never occured to me before but now it all makes sense.

- Lou Reed's song 'The kids' from Berlin, and its middle section featuring kids crying? They were real kids.

Apparently his producer phoned up his wife and told her to 'lend him the kids for the day'. Surprised, the wife asked him why he would want to bring their children to work during a recording session. The producer said 'Ahhh, don't worry... just lend me the kids!'. He then took them and locked the three of them in the studio booth, left to sit on the other side, and as he was sipping booze behind the glass-window said those words in the microphone: 'Hey kids! You mom is dead'. Ensued 10 minutes of hysterical crying and sobbing. Proof is, you hear a kid screaming 'Mommy!' at the end of the song.

As Romain told me this, part of me tried to feel bad for thinking it was the absolute best musical-trivia-story I had heard in months. Everything in the name of art, baby!

- One of favourite Bowie song has always been a cover of Jacques Brel's 'Amsterdam', and I have yet to find someone who does not absolutely loathe it. Last time I sang it, my mother threatenned to punch me in the head with a frying pan (true story). I just don't get it, the song is better than a fucking Zola novel, the lyrics are absolutely breathtaking, 'And he pisses like I cry / On the unfaithful love'.

But yeah, do you think that with 100 pages to write and only 15 days to write them, I have time to properly update my blog? Yeah, no right? Don't think so either.

John, I'm only dancing!

V for Vendetta

2006-04-21T04:45:00.000-07:00

Was very good indeed, just like Mads have said before.

It was to some extent what happened in France a few weeks ago. Lower scale it goes without saying, but it was about taking the power as people within non democratic means, I figure? We somehow re-made history by having a whole government to back off to scratch a law which was so obviously unjust.

In some way it felt a bit like seeing loads of subliminal images which were already burried in our media-bombed brains. From 9.11 to Abu Graib, from London's tube bombings to explicit references to Hitler's dictatorial regime, from Orwell's 1984 to the great use of televisual parodies protecting democracy and your right to speak and express ideas (they cannot die, while you can!), all of those explicit references were impressive.

'It is not for the people to fear their government, but for the government to fear the people'.

My only doubtful remark was: What does it say about the American cinematographic industry when a movie illustrating such subversive ideas (Revolution! Massive protests! Overthrow the political elite! Coup D'etat!) is produced by Warner Bros. ? It's either a really good sign (speech-related rights are protected and we are still free to make movies with not so subtle allusions to the political chaos we currently find ourselves in) or a really bad one (the recuperation and instrumentalisation of revolutionary ideas for the box office is raging).

I came back home yesterday night and rushed to find my Rage Against the Machine CD [/activist cliché].

"F+ck me and shut up."

2006-04-19T06:12:00.000-07:00

Do you think the Depeche Mode song 'Enjoy the silence' is a social commentary about the gender'ed-myth which stipulates that men do not want, need nor appreciate after-sex discussions/conversations, for they see it as useless and ultimately just want to enjoy the silence before gently going to sleep?

Can’t you understand/ Oh my little girl /All I ever wanted /All I ever needed/ Is here in my arms/ Words are very unnecessary /They can only do harm/ Vows are spoken/ To be broken/ Feelings are intense/ Words are trivial

I was listenning to the radion at 3 in the morning yesterday night when the song came on, and it struck me as an evidence. An epiphany. Depeche Mode's lyrics are smooth, for it oh so carefully says women (or men I'd suppose) need to learn to fuck more, discuss less, and shut the hell up.

Ha. ha. Between this single and the song 'Freelove' -praising heavy guilt-free one night stands- either they're all massive sluts, or well, Massive Sluts.

Enjoy the Silence is one of my favourite 80s song.

Morrisseeeeey+ Simple pleasures.

2006-04-16T06:52:00.001-07:00

No no no... well okay, fine, I'll say it once and once for all now, fine I said! I really appreciate Morrissey. See, i don't LOVE him, I am not a raving fan... but he just cracks me up so much. If someone asks me what British Humour is, I'd clulessly answer, 'Morrissey'. He seems to have the ability to say the most hyesterical things with great nonchalance, like he just doesn't give a flying fuck about the enormity and ridiculousness of his lyrics. Either that or the man is unconsciously out there and will never be able to return to reason.

I think some would say it is very 'pince-sans-rire'?

" In America, The land of the free, they said / And of opportunity, In a just and a truthful way / But where the president, is never black, female or gay /and until that day, you've got nothing to say to me, to help me believe. In America, it brought you the hamburger / Well America you know where, you can shove your hamburger."

Haha....whaaaa? I love him just for this: he sings it like it's the most natural thing to say, ever.

Hey Bryan, if you read this: Did you read the Guardian Douglas Coupland/Morrissey interview? It's hilarious. (Also, I did not know there was a movie based on Girlfriend in a coma!)

Playlist for Sunday - which was randomly selected by I-tunes amongst the songs I downloaded yesteday night, and which I will listen to during my 3 hours train ride just because I trust Chance.

( 1 star = Awesomely suicidally bad, 5 stars = Suicidally fantastically good)

My Chemical Romance - To the end *
Morrissey - Friday Mourning ***
Patrick Wolf - Tristan ****
Rufus Wainwright - La complainte de la Butte ***
Jeff Buckley - Vancouver ****
The Knife - One hit ***
Wu Tang Clan - Maria **
Andrew W K - I love NYC *
Billy Connolly - Evil Scotsman *
Jay Tees - A prayer to Jah **
Lou Reed - Men of good fortune ***
Nickelback - Too bad *
Bilal - Make me over **
Patrick Wolf - The Gypsy King *****
Gnarls Barkley - Smiley faces ***
YT - Wicked Act ***

Come to think of it, maybe my rating system is the other way around.

Mark - Yesterday I happened to read an old piece of your writing that i hadn't seen before. The entry titled 'songs about songwriting' ?It made me smile from ear to ear while I tried not to scream out loud something ressembling to 'A-fucking-Men, yo!'. This is why:

An amazingly uplifting thread on Ask Metafilter recently asked readers about their favourite simple pleasures in life. Anything like a sunset, silence in the house during nightime, playing with your dog, eating chocolate, etc.

I did not comment, but one of the first thing that came to my mind was this: Having your Ipod playing random songs, or listenning to the radio while being absorbed by another activity, and having to stop and listen more carefully because a certain track just caught your attention in the most surprising way. You smike, you don't move, you urge everyone around to STFU, and feel some kind of weird adrenaline rush while you think:

"Jesus! What is THAT track!"

Next thing you know, you're obssessed with finding out who's responsible for making you feel happy and excited, if only for a few minutes.

Others 'simple pleasures' that would make my list:

- Whenever smartasses during concerts yell something really funny out loud, and everyone burst out laughing. There's fraternity in those moment.
- When a singer/band gets so good on stage that you can feel a general consensus spreading through the venue. The excitement is almost physically palpable. You're so happy you are teary-eyed because it is that good.
- When you try to explain something very difficult (either because it's complex or emotionally hard for you) and the person in front of you get it without too much hassle.
- Winning a good, heavy, heated argument. Especially with Boris.
- While reading a book, being stopped by the way words sound in your head. Because the melody, the agencement, the global effect is clever, moving, or powerful.
- Seriously? Eating chocolate. Anytime, anywhere.
- Huge, crazy, fantastic, unbelieveable coincidences. I live for them.
- When your I-pod randomly plays the song you really felt like hearing.
- Marching and/or protesting and feeling reassured by the fact that yes, many people are still angry, and determined to fight for what they consider to be the right thing.

Yours?

Bosch, C'est bien + Ohhhh, baby, Wainwright moves me.

2006-04-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

My mother off handedly mentionned the dutch painter Hieronymus Bosch as we were talking about Dali's late 40s work tonight. (And do not worry, we do not talk about Art, Operas and Philosophy all the time, I'm not from these kind of families but, uh yeah, whatever). She said he was on of her favourite artists, that his work was 'extraordinarly modern' , 'explored the human psyché and pathos like no other', and that when she first saw his painting The garden of earthly delights at the museum El Prado in Madrid, she was amazed.

I laughed, rolled my eyes, and did a 'blowjob' gesture that was meant to disguise my ignorance: I did not know about Bosch before tonight, but would have never admitted to it in front of my mother. You know me. I'm not like Boris (aww, wink-wink, Borisbabycakes!)

So i excused myself and ran to Google and Wiki (thank god for the Internet, again and again and again and... sigh...). My mother was right saying that I would like him, I find his work to be a-fucking-mazing. For those who share my oh-so-disgraceful ignorance, here are some of my favourite pieces, here, here and here. And Dali? Goodbye.

Not related and off topic:

I discovered that my darling gay lover amazing genius talented baby Rufus Wainwright covered the song 'The origin of love' from the movie Hedwig and the Angry Inch! Fucking A!!!!!!! I'm in love! I honestly think he's got the best voice in the whole Universe. Not as in the most technically perfect voice, or most powerful or most moving voice, but just in some kind of weird 'I personally think he's got the best singing voice ever' way.

Such strong, passionate, sexual nonchalance. Ohhhh-baby.

Songs, yo. Karen O oh no, Barkley yes!

2006-04-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

'Husband' and I were talking about specific listenning habits the other day, and we came to the conclusion that sometimes, for no reason at all, we listen to songs a hundred times in a row just for the hell of it. Right up to the point where you just can't reasonably take it anymore. Apparently, he managed to listen to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs latest single a good 17 times or so in a row. If I may add something about it - I saw them on Mtv Europe this afternoon and got well depressed. Karen O doing promotion on the telly, talking about how much she liked the video, and how killer her single was? Oh please, kill me now.

My new obsession is a song by Gnarls Barkley. It's called 'Crazy', and I first heard it last thursday morning, when i woke up listenning to France Inter - the best radio station in France, ever. I believe I have listenned to it a good 10 times in a few hours now. It's not especially good, it's a bit of a futile song to be honest, but I find it amazing. Cee-Lo's voice is definitely unique, the beat is ah-okay, the BVs are just alright, but I am absolutely addicted.

In fact the whole cd is absolutely great by my humble standards, and the funny thing is....the funny thing is I've always hated Modest mouse (I know....shut up).

Also - who here remembers Bilal, the Neo Soul prodigy child? 'You're my soooullll sissstahhhhh'? When I was a raging Nu-Soul fanatic circa 2001-2003, he was all I was listenning to. His live performance are off the hook, man. I think he feel into some kind of heavy depression-alcholism-drugs 24-7 party right after the release of his first cd, but I had the opportunity to listen to the advance copy of his latest effort, and I am very excited.

I am also trying to find a song that could be tentatively catogorised as 'Morrocan trip hop'. The title is Hdjendjell, by a band called 'Mig'. It's mind blowing. If anyone is willing to find it somewhere, well hook me up, yo.

Ladies and Gentlemen!

2006-04-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

I'm officially a UK citizen! I've received my passport!

Oh my god! Thank you dad! For that, at least.

Do I feel different? No.
Proud? Uh, ummm, errrr no.

Do I feel like a super international european citizen first, french and english second? Yeah.

Should I apply for spanish nationality too? Yes/No.

I hope you guys liked how I reduced the British empire to 3 great clichés.

Victory??

2006-04-10T10:25:00.001-07:00

Credit: lemonde.fr, REUTERS/ALESSIA PIERDOMENICO

Mohammed
Mon, Apr 10, 2006 at 11:57 AM
To: Jessica s****@gmail.com

Victory??

----------------------

Jessica
Mon, Apr 10, 2006 at 12:45 PM
To: Mohammed m*****.****@***.co.uk

"el pueblo unido jamas sera vencido", i guess.

~~----------------------~~

I am pleased, to say the least, about today's outcome. It is very encouraging and underlines the fact that maybe, in very simple terms, participative democracy and massive popular disagreement still means something/ have an impact on the ruling class-elite.

I am also quite glad about Romano Prodi possibly winning the Italian elections against Belusconi. Fingers crossed, Boris will be pleased.

Good day for politics. Very good day. I commented a bit on Mefi about the french CPE law. The thread is highly interesting from a 'Hey, I wonder how the US sees us french people and our protests thing?' point of view.

"Pay strict attention to what I say because I choose my words carefully and I never repeat myself." - Dalton Russell

2006-04-07T14:12:00.000-07:00

Forget about the movie being a surprisingly good thriller/bank robbery story.

Even if like me, you have to rejoice at the thought that there might still be surprising thrillers out there.

Forget about Inside man (trailer) being a wonderfully, carefully well-crafted movie that is actually riveting.

Even if trust me, you will not want to leave the cinema at any given minute.

Forget about the latest Spike Lee's joint being a movie that uses but do not abuses Washington and Owen's talent.

Even if like me, you think Owen's the best thing that came out of the actors' treasure box since Benicio Del Torro.

Inside man is about power, about modern politics, about corruption, about cultural diversity, about racism, about family, about pop culture, about new media, about a past that won't let go of you, about pride, about loss. It's deep, it deals with every one of those topics in depth if you pay enough attention. It's worth the time, it's worth the money, and it was definitely worth believing in Lee's massive come back.

It's complex, it's beautiful, it's powerful, it explores pain and ache and sorrow and revenge and most of all,

Lee's movies usually make me smile; this one made me laugh out loud numerous times.It's extremely funny, with numerous New Yorkers' inner jokes. Boy, does Lee have the prfect love affair with NY. He does not cut the city -or its inhabitants- any slack, in fact he points out the ridiculousness in every single characters, but he does it with love.

It's courageous, for it points out what nobody in America (or elsewhere) wants to see nor admit.

'Get down on your knees! Oh my god, it's a f+cking Arab! Is this a bomb? GET. ON. YOUR. FUCKING. KNEES. NOW!'

' ... But I'm a Sikh!'

It also almost made me cry, and I shivered when Denzel Washington, for the 324th time in his career with Lee, was put on wheels so as to create the infamous 'Lee-moving-plan', background dissolving in a blurry mayhem, Washington's tears becoming more and more visible as he almost touches the camera.

And thank you, Mister Lee, for giving accurate, complex portaits of people. Thank you for not ignoring 'the second sex' as well - thank you for choosing a woman to have one of the most interesting role (Jodie Foster, wow, did she come back in style on this one!).

Spike Lee, once again you made me glad I was alive to see this one. And you made me glad that there still are talented, courageous people out there willing to put into images and words what so many of us think but don't have the means to share with the entire world.

You Sir, rock my world.

[Read the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes] or [Read the comments on IMDB].

Also:

'I dislike Condoleezza Rice even more than Bush... She's gotten a free ride from black people.'

"In short, Spike thinks Condi has betrayed hers." (Guardian article.)

Soviet Supreme: [Pictures to come...]

2006-04-06T10:07:00.000-07:00

Flashmobs!

Or , clever social protests.

After the General Assembly voted the end of the University-block, a small group of students decided to get creative. After many brainstorming sessions, we decided to invest the Public Space using the concept of flash mobs.

Act Up France calls these actions 'Zap'.

At 4.45 today, a group of an estimated 80 people entered the Virgin Megastore downtown. Some were dressed as clowns, some appeared to be normal customers. At 5, someone whistled and everyone suddenly fell down to the floor, wearing signs saying 'Precarity kills' or 'Youth want real work contracts'...

Security seemed to freak out a bit, but what could be done? We were harmless. The press was quickly called, and a journalist from Ouest France took many pictures. I won't mention the number of customers who, amused, took an awful lot of picture with their cell phones.

After 15 minutes, we all got up and left as if nothing had happened.

We're reconducting it somewhere else this week end. It's efficient, quick, media-friendly and highly symbolic. To me it's the perfect 21st century type of social protest.

Portugal!

2006-04-03T14:54:00.000-07:00

Yay! The new issue of travel blogger magazine is up, and Ian did a fantastic editing job - as always. I wrote an article about Portugal, my best friends, and a random stranger. You can read it here.

Here's one to hip hop and rage: Get a proper job contract or die fighting.

2006-04-02T14:40:00.000-07:00

" 'Things are fucked', think the new world teens, but we have come to realize, as young people, I believe, that hope is not obsolete." - B.

Last week's political events had me and my friend Monkey talk a lot. We were both absolutely disgusted at our government's lack of response in front of nearly three millions people protesting in the streets, not to mention the way the Council of Ministers dismissed this wave of massive popular disagreement by simply deciding not to talk about it during the weekly Ministers meeting.

Monkey and I come from the same musical and political place. We have a relation to politics that is both motivated by social revenge, and an honest desire for a better humanity for all. And these days we ache when hearing the news, and not because we'll be particularly touched by it in any way: as far as I'm concerned, those new reforms won't touch me anytime soon since I want to work abroad and will (err...hopefully) graduate with a diploma that will allow me to bypass those new type of employment contracts.

We ache because we think of the hundred thousands young people who will have to begin apprencticeships at age 14 [!!!] (like Mark said, it sounds like Victorian England), those young students who, freshly employed, will get fired because companies 'have overrated their needs in terms of employment' and don't really need them after 2 or 3 months only.

We ache because it definitely means less security and less safety nets for those who need it most. We ache because if you want to rent a flat in Paris with a CPE while another one will present a proper work contract, then you can bet the flat will go to the latter and not the former, and where's justice on this one? Where's fairness? Why should they get a shitty CPE, and I a proper, secure work contract?

When discussing it last friday we found ourselves in the most gloomy, desperate mood ever, and Monkey remarked that she felt pure, unaltered rage in her bones. So did I.

Switching to music, we talked about hip hop and how it has always been a life support system for us and so many others throughout the years. Because when listenning to the Wu tang Clan, Public Ennemy or whoever else, your spirit is automatically lifted by this fantastic will to fight that emcess seem to share with whoever wants to listen. Hip hop is about not giving up, right? It's about communicating enough rage, hope and anger that listenning to it makes you want to keep on fighting because if you don't, what's left to do?

Nothing.

And for that, Monkey and I silently thanked hip hop last friday. Because it keeps us going.

And that's why Tuesday will find me protesting in the streets again, alongside millions of people. Because I want to believe we still have a voice. And f+ck you if you think this post sounds like a plebian political soap opera (we all know the end, but the fights and revendications still go on fooorrrreeeevvvverrr).

Prime Time Deliverance

2006-03-31T05:44:00.000-08:00

The red red lips
Of some secret solution
The Central Intelligence Agency

has a file that's a mile longer than peace

On Friday the 31st of March, after having been savagely betrayed by the World of Politics, Jessica decided to live as a recluse and to become a vampire, for there was no need to go all Che Guevara-like anymore. Trying to fight for the construction of a Common Good having proved to be worthless and a major waste of time/hope/energy, she therefore decided to live in the dark, her bedroom only lit by the pale computer screen's light, without any sun (wait - she already did that anyway). She would now only come out at night, dressed in black, lips painted red, dyed hair and shadowy eyes.

Q: How many times did Jessica hear the line 'Well that's weird, how come you never ever smile on pictures' ? A: 346791. Jessica hates smiling when her picture is taken:

Truer words were never spoken:

Interviewer: When people look at those pictures they always ask why you aren’t smiling.

Douglas Coupland: In the future people are going to look at these pictures and wonder what was wrong with these people. “Are they idiots or something?”

Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with.

2006-03-29T14:23:00.000-08:00

Fact: I know almost every single song Prince has ever recorded up until 'Musicology'.*

Romain-the-rock-music-critic told me something last week at the bar; something about Prince I did not know about. I remembered it tonight while walking back home with my headphones on.

I was listenning to 2 many djs' mix of Prince's medley. The best part of the track is 'Kiss'.

I always thought it was a shitty Prince song.

Until someone as gifted as Romain was able to point out why it's genius.

Circa 1986 Prince sat in a limousine with a major music producer, a funk legend producer, and made him listen to it.

Producer said: 'Well, it's great. You just have to add some synth and bass line yeah?'

Prince said: 'Well. No'

Producer: 'What the fuck you mean 'no?' It's FUNK ?'

Prince: 'Because'.

..And Kiss became the first funk classic to hit number one on the billboard charts, without any bass. It's just poor synth and poor drum machine and falsetto voice and a cool split dance move, a shitty outfit, a good mysterious dancer, and a really ugly woman guitar player in the video.

And when you know that funk can't thrive nor survive without bass.....It becomes genius. Thank you Romain for making me like this song.

This is exactly why rock music critics are important (you fucking heard me) in my eyes. To spot where the beauty or strangeness of something is...

...And to share it all with enthusiasm, even at the bar with friends, even at midnight when Jessica has been yelling Prince music all night long with too much verve - while the rest of her friends are ready to commit Prince-Suicide, even if all you do all day long is write and talk and argue about music already.

Thank you, Romain! B. is lucky to have you.

Plus: the most profound respect for Prince for having the balls to have a savagely brilliant all-girls band back in the day. Post modern unconscious male feminism is sexy.

Plus1: To the bartender who spins Prince and the NPG cds and dvds as soon as I walk into the bar. Thank you. But just because you went to Paisley Park and I did not does not mean you're a bigger fan than I am. I listenned to prince when I was 10 years old, and could barely count 2+2! (not that I can now)...

Plus 2: I wonder if this cd cover was inspired by Bowie's Heroes one?

* Faith, Eloise and Antony might argue they know more about Prince than I do. Fine, whatev.

ATTACk!!!

2006-03-28T11:32:00.000-08:00

Credit: Via cbc, AP/F. Mori

Phew!

40 to 50,000 protesters in the streets of my city today. + 2,5 millions in France. Look at the Le Monde's infography map: total utter craziness.

Before starting the march this morning I spotted a small group with flags caught between two Unions and 5 political parties' representatives and supporters. The group in question is ATTAC (english link), of which I am a big fan. They're originally french but are now an internatiomal think tank/lobby, founded by Le Monde Diplomatique (english version link) (for those not in the know: An amazing, left leaning publication about foreign and policies/politics).

ATTAC works as a global network, and is an "international movement for democratic control of financial markets and their institutions". They're supported by professors, researchers, policy makers and activists, and they mostly attack Foreign Taxes Havens and financial criminality. They want to work towards the construction of an anti-economically-liberal Europe. the abolition of Third World Countries' public debts, the instauration of global taxes so as to finance development, alternatives to what's commonly referred to as 'The free Market', the right to an equal access to education & health care, and the extension of public services.

I came up to them and presented myself this morning,saying I was a big fan and really admired their efforts. Of course they immediatly tried to turn me into an adherent (which I wouldn't be opposed to), underlining that 'I was young, and should take actions!'. I guess that being a woman looking like a half-hipster, I didn't look like enough of an activist or a politics students to him :(

"Attac" 's logo

Bonus point: When I turned to Aurelie after chatting with them, she told me that ' i had actually talked to the President of the organization'. I felt a bit like a loser for having introduced myself as a 'massive fan', but hey, I imagine it's always cool to hear from random strangers that your work is important and respected? Even if it's just coming from a lousy-looking student.

I can't feel my legs anymore for having walked so much (hours!), and there are approximatively 10 vans packed with armed policemen parked in my street, ready to kick some a$$. It feels like troubled and dark - albeit very lively- times, but seeing so many diverse people protesting today made me really, really glad and hopeful.

Oh and yes, I love how much of the aglosaxon press only mentions 'violence' and 'protests' while they absolutely miss the entire points, seeing french people as 'brave people who did not seem to get that 1789 was over', or as 'spoiled youngsters who feel as if they are entitled'.

Uh, f+ck off?

Well surely I over-generalize on this one. Such articles made my day, such as this one for the Guardian Education, which makes a very valid points: "the anti-CPE movement is for the middle classes what last November's riots were to the suburban poor", and more importantly:

"There is simply no available evidence to suggest that higher flexibility translates itself into the net creation of long-term employment."

God knows I am not nationalist, nor I am patriotic. I don't even particularly like my own country - France.

But on this one, well, French people still believe in some(thing[s]).

Godisnowhere.

God is now here.

God is nowhere.

I suggest you ask your boyfriend if he's into politics.

2006-03-27T13:41:00.000-08:00

[Via Nerve] 10 Reasons why Liberal men are better in bed. Well yeah?

[Also via Nerve]. So, there is an 'Annual My Space bad haircut awards' thing going on. Good...good. It's all nice and funny enough. I just wonder why the people usually involved in wasting time making such massive lists all seem like jealous, bitter, envious persons who only dream of being in a band or being scenesters but can't really pull it off? (See the 'I am not in a band and I don't care if you have' comment on his profile).

Also:
1. Jamie T's 'Salvador' sounds like Devendra Banhart, if Devendra was a crack addict. Errr....
2. If boris made music, he'd make 'Baroque-depressive electro'. Or so he says.

3,2,1 countdown until people email me saying 'MY BLOG IS NOT LIKE THAT!'

2006-03-26T06:24:00.000-08:00

No, no,no, Fuck YOU! I am the Blog Categorizer!

Matt was telling me the other day that he thought about Danielly's blog as 'Raymi's blog but without nudity'. I disagreed. I thought about it and came to this conclusion :

(warning: yes, put me on a wooden cross and let me die slowly while I beg for forgiveness, I am creating categories ONCE AGAIN ohmoomg!, but they are useful so as to understand blogs and their nature...I think my inbox will implode with hateful emails as a result of me posting this thread...)

[note: this goes for personal and not community edited blogs only]

- The are blogs which don't have anything of importance to say, most of the time being of the 'today I ate an apple' category, but they do it with a vision, or a concept, and become Art, or at least part of a certain arty blog trend. They create a specific 'universe', with a scene, their actors, good punch lines... it feels like an endless move script.

Examples:
Raymi. Her boyfriend Phil. Emo kids cry.

- Those who both join a concept, a vision, and relevant things to say (they are hard to find).

Examples:
Tony.

- Those which are absolutely non-coherent and eclectic, but expose opinions, ideas and sometimes personal stories and/or commentariat. Often written by extremely opinionated, political, fierce, loud mouth people 'in real life'.

Examples:
Mine (edit: ?) . Zen for Lunch. Electrolicious. Verstehen. Heather Corinna.

- Those focused on specific topics, like music, politics, or technology, and which rarely let personal/biographical details show, but still enough so as to keep the reader interested in their online persona.

Examples:
Aphophenia. Vanmega. Bitch PhD.

- Those blalantly personal, and which read like personal diaries. Sometimes hard to get if the writer is often making in-jokes are refers to people who never heard of if you don't know them personally.

Examples:
Matt. Marnsickle. Geoffrey. Smelly Danielly.

- Those exceptionally well written, and which don't make sense right away- probably because they're so well written that it comes as a shock in the blogosphere and you find yourself going like 'whaaa? It's actually demanding to read it!'. These blogs are sometimes written by what society currently refers to as 'profesionnal writers'. I can spot them from MILES, and yes I AM NOT FOOLED! You often wonder 'why are they on the blogosphere?', but it often makes sense when knowing their personal history.

Examples:
The Pill Box. My Husband (oops) . Marcello Carlin.

"Just watch me break": The Federalist Power of Madonna.

2006-03-24T06:12:00.000-08:00

Frantically turning the pages of my 'Introduction to Cultural Studies' book a few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a couple of great paragraphs written about Madonna, who became throughout the 90s one of the most studied famous persona/icon/artist in this specific academic field.

One wouldn't even have to mention it: Madonna has been the case-study of reference for women studies, queer studies, gender studies, social movements studies, youth studies, and cultural studies. Some go as far as claiming they are Madonna-logues. They theorise on social changes which were only made possible thanks to Pop music, most notably Madonna's contribution to the sexual emancipation of legions of young women. Some are funny : in 1989, John Fiske presents Madonna as the epitome of conformity, the perfect model of sociosexual homogeneity, the great female figure who's nothing more than the result of a patriarchal society.

He however states that the critical potential of her fans turns Madonna's Art into a 'struggle of semiotics' (sic?) , which is capable of deconstructing these cliché'd representations.

In other words, as a simple artist and pop icon, she was able to progressively embody major contemporary issues, which in itself is remarkable - I cannot really think of anyone else in the pop music field who literally represents freedom, a freedom taken so as to escape strict sexual and behaviourist patterns. No, not even Michael Jackson, James Brown, George Michael, Elton John or Prince. It worked for Madonna because she both fascinated men and encouraged women to be what they wanted to be. She's the perfect example of a woman who has put her pussy to good use in the long run, if you want to look at it this way.

I became an obsessive Madonna fan when I was about 12. I was sitting in front of the tv when her video for 'Human nature' came on. It was highly sexually explicit, provocative and fearless, and caught my attention. The next day I ran to the record store, and purchased 'Bedtime stories'. For the next three years, I was caught in an exclusive and sometimes unhealthy musical love for both Madonna's songs and Prince's genius.

My love and fascination for her faded away quickly, even if 'Ray of light' still remains one of my favourite 90s pop effort. But at times, I will stop and think about her work. I can't help but to be impressed. Last time it happened was at the Transmusicales festival last December. Imagine standing some kind of covered field, surrounded by some 10.000 extreme music afficionados, with a Dj mixing obscure electronica only. You are in the dark minus for those bright yellow and red spots of lights which make you blind every five seconds.

And suddenly the DJ decides to spin Madonna's latest single. For ironic purposes, to see the crowd's reaction, the really make people dance, as an 'in joke' with his fellow DJ friend, I'll never know. But you are absolutely impressed by the audience's reaction - this very arrogant, know-it-all, musically snob crowd-, for within seconds everyone is all:

put your hands in the air!

and sing along to the chorus!

and dance like there's no tomorrow!

Bath in the spotlights' aggressive shades and colours!

Feel the loooove!

And this very momentI decided Madonna's music was more than just music but had a transcendental aspect ot it. Somehow, because it's her (and granted, because it's well produced, and cleverely marketed, and etc), it works. It brings people together, and doesn't let them down, it makes them forget about everything else for a few minutes,

because it's her!

It makes people happy, and that's why Madonna IS the spirit of disco music. Because her music transport you to another time/spatial frame, and that's quite the accomplishment.

I do make a distinction between 'entertainners' and 'artists'.

I believe Madonna is now beyond both of these categories.

Once again it's not even noon and I am discussing anal sex.

2006-03-22T02:50:00.000-08:00

"Abstinence. Now there’s a workable curriculum if I ever heard one. Look, do you really think you’re gonna get a bunch of hormone-soaked highschoolers to keep it in their pants because their teachers say it’s the right thing to do? You dickheads put the “Holy” in “Holy fuck, have you ever actually met a teenager?”

Like I previously said, I really want to marry the guy responsible for those rants, especially since the hilarious new one about South Dakota is spot on, and makes terribly funny/valid points. Thank you, whoever you are.

I first heard about Senator Napoli a few weeks ago on Nerve.com, in their scanner section. The article in question pointed out that according to him, a hypothetical woman who could legally get an abortion under the new law would be a woman who would have to have been through specific abuses. He describes the "ideal" victim/candidate as:

“A rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life.”

Now I don't know about you, but I wanted to cut my wrists open and die on my keyboard while reading this quote. Abortions okay for religious girls only? So as an atheist, I would have to go through the process of bearing the child of my rapist, yeah? Do you seriously live in the Dark Ages, and don't you realise that your decision would be laughed at quite easily, as I don't think of it as egalitarian NOR constitutional even?

Not enough downright evil, ignorant, misogynist words exist to qualify such a discourse, Mister Napoli, you disgust me.

But the part that shocked me - and I don't known if it caught your attention to- was:

'sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it'.

Now motherfucker, what does it have to do with ANY of it? It's not good enough that the girl was savagely raped, she also has to be sodomized for you to think she's eligible to an abortion?

Are you fucking kidding me? To be honest, it sounded like Senator Napoli was just venting about his most secret fantasies as he uttered those words. It does sound like something he dreams on doing - or at least takes pleasure in imaginning- : Ohhhh and she was CATHOLIC and DEVOUT and BEAUTIFUL and FAITHFUL and she was RAPED and HUMILIATED, ohhh maaaan does it feel GOOD to think about it.

You dirty psycho sexual deviant pervert, I think you're the one with a problem.

If I was American? I'd tell you what I'd do. First thing first: I'd email or Call Mister Napoli to vent a bit. Oh, nothing bad like threatening him to get anally raped as he is peacefully coming back home at the end of his office hours to cook dinner for his wife and kids (yeah, right). But maybe something like 'I just want you to know that as a citizen concerned with the respect of human rights, you just lost one fellow supporter' (it will hurt to lie if you're a die hard democrat, but hey).

Links:

New definition: to 'napoli' someone: To hella rape somebody.

Metafilter thread in which I commented, saying:

1. I wonder how many persons involved in the draft and the redaction of this law were men. Probably 80 percent of them. Not that it matters...*cough* I'm afraid to come up as a rad-fem on this one but many times while reading comments in here made by men I thought 'Well, thank you but YOU will never have to deal with what it feels like to have/need an abortion. Physically nor mentally. So STFU'.

and

2. However, while I think too many men are talking out of their +++++ about such issues, I also think it is crucial to have their understanding and support in the matter. Not only because 'it takes two to tango', but also because it goes beyond feminism, it's about humanism and caring about the others.

"Nathan goes around giving out stickers and shouting at everyone, 'Come visit my website. It's at trashbat dot cock!' ".

2006-03-20T06:10:00.000-08:00

The thing with me and vitamins is: I am always very mad at them because they don't seem to work, until I remember that I always forget to take them correctly.

Consider: To see or not to see Memoirs of a Geisha for only 3 Euros?

Consider: The book was better anyway.

Consider: The book still sucked serious a$$.

Consider: If they do it à la American Revisionist Theory (like they did for Phantom of the Opera or Moulin Rouge) and have Geishas eating Big Macs or utter 90's Americanisms, I will surely die.

Consider: But it'll make for a good case of 'Ahhhh those Hollywood movies... They don't get anything right except their own microcosms... Which is why Hollywood is good at making parodies about itself but can't take criticism when it comes from the land of Independent Cinema *cough* Europe/NYC*cough*' [add incoherent navel gazing babbles]...

Conclude: No doubt we're gonna see it tonight.

Also: Anyone knows where I can download the tv show Nathan Barley (Guardian article)? Apparently I am not getting UK pop culture if I don't see that asap. Bittorrent has been proved to be useless so far. Anyone, yeo?

...Because this line 'He knows the idiots are idiots, but unlike them, he suspects he's one too.' oddly makes me think, of, uh... myself.

The Irony!* + Women women riot grrls womyn chicks gals, this one's for you.

2006-03-18T12:21:00.000-08:00

* One will have to appreciate the irony of the picture above in light of my previous post about Starbucks.

I am part of the board comittee of a very very very very very exciting new community project created by Heather Corinna, called All Girl Army, also known as Young Feminist Project. It will launch around May 1st. You should check it out for yourself - so far I have to say it's been absolutely amazing to see so many intelligent, enthusiast women gather together in order to create something valuable for the community, and I'm very happy to help with it.

If you are a woman (aged 10-23) and wants to join, help in any way and/or blog for AGA, then you should apply, yeo. If you want more information, feel free to email me.

The project seeks to give a voice to young feminists so as to enable them to network, discuss, exchange, occasionally argue I suppose, and most importantly, help them to get the tolls to make a point in building a stronger sense of feminist identity (or, what it means to be a woman, and what it means to you to be you, very simply).

ITMA!

2006-03-17T12:31:00.000-08:00

I thought Dan Savage's campaign about the Homophobe Republican Senator Santorum was great (especially since it was a brilliant victory: it comes up as the third result available when googling Santorum), so it's very naturally that I will support his Impeach the Motherfucker Already campaign.

On topic: 2003 Mefi thread.

Morning coffee on your front porch: You gotta love living in Green Belts.

2006-03-16T06:18:00.000-08:00

Security-enforced-Bible-thumpers-white-upper-class-only-land! I have finally found where I want to spent the rest of my life. The idea came to me while watching a BBC documentary yesterday - a 20 mns film about Disney's new project called 'Celebration'.

Celebration is a real self-contained town built in Florida, which is supposed to look and feel like a Disney city. Quiet, calm and serene, and most of all segregative.

You see, Celebration is a gated community - a great groundbreaking experiment in social engineering (these words alone make me shiver with disdain). It's an attempt to build an entire city upon an ideal and a certain utopic idea of what is 'community life', because apparently the USA have lost touch with what 'town life' should be about. No highways, no noise, not even a real need for cars like in most american suburbian towns...

...All you have is Disney's magic. Market Street is just like Disneyland parks' Main streets: full of bright colours, soap bubbles and welcoming shops where you are given the opportunity to spend lots of your hard-earned money on stuffed animals.

The world's best architects, like Phillip Johnson, are very enthusiast about it, and are proud to contribute to such a project - one which promote what is refered to as 'increased neighbourliness'. Downtown, not one single house is similar to the other. They all have different styles: Victorian, Colonial, Cottages. It's a whole 'new reinvented past', which makes me roll on the floor laughing.

(side note: I will never ever get people who want to built houses in say, colonial style. If it's not a proper, ancient, historical one, what's the use of rebuilding something old and out of context? Blame me for my Europeaness and the fact that I live in an apartment that is 350 years old, maybe).

The citizens of Celebration (and there are thousands of applicants) have to attend 'workshops teaching you to be good citizens' so as to develop a maximum of 'old times morals and values'.

Awesome. It (almost) kind of makes you hope that a massive pervert/exhibitionist will buy a house there as soon as possible.

The whole thing reminded me of Gilmore Girls - which I can't say I hate, but the illustration of town life and community in this TV show is just ridiculous. The main two characters live in Stars Hollow, a little town in NY state where everyone is 1. useful to the community 2. lively 3. smiling 4. has a specific attributed role. Even the street singer sings folk poems illustrating how amazing it is to live in a county where everyone is SO DAMN CLOSE you feel like you are living in a participative democracy and/or a big italian/jewish/potuguese (cliché!) family where everything you do is being tracked down by the second. In other words - my idea of hell.

The whole thing is deeply, annoyingly, irritatingly nice. Watching two episods in a row usually makes me want to go to Camden town, London or East Hastings, BC to inject heroin in my veins while I discuss masturbation and sex toys with whores and lose myself in concrete, dust, spit, used condoms and broken needles, à la Lou Reed's Transformer in the West End style.

For the record, and for having lived in big cities as well as smaller ones, I never felt such a strong sense of community than when I was living in Camden, London - and I only stayed there for the summer. I can't wait for neighbours in Celebration to hate one another to the point where they'll call Jihads on each others, and throw their kids to burn alive in their respective BBQ ovens.

WAR IS OVER (if you want it) : Love and Peace from John and Yoko.

2006-03-13T12:10:00.000-08:00

Drinking 'tall' lattes in the Starbucks near Victoria Station, London last saturday, it was pointed out to me by M. that a new Smart mob (with a bit of an Adbusters taste in its most ironic fashion) could be started simply by filling out Starbucks' customers satisfaction feedback cards.

It goes like this:

- Starbucks pre-paid postal costs for any feedback card to be sent by customers directly to their respective national HQs.

- Starbucks asks customers if (from what I remember, so don't quote me on this one):

a.They felt they were well welcomed and if the Starbucks they visited was a clean and nice environement

b. Following the previous question, they ask if the client plans on coming back:

less often [ ]

never again [ ]

or more often []

The right smart-mob move would be to convince thousands of people to fill out hundreds of questionnaires stating that the Starbucks store in question was scandalously unclean and unwelcoming, and yet have them all tick the 'I will come back more often' box.

This way you get to f+ck with the Marketing managers' heads, and Starbucks loses massive money with those pre-paid stamps if the movement is is big and sustainable enough.

The only problems are:

1. Being a massive hypocrite, I kind of like drinking coffee at Starbucks when not living in France. However it will never replace my love for the french cafés culture. It's just that it doesn not really exist anywhere else, so I feel less guilty drinking a Venti Skinny Caramel Macchiato with Extra Cream On top Extra Hot (TM) when in the UK or in Canada.

2. Starbucks corporation is "respectable/useful to many" in the sense that they do spend a lot of money on health care for their employees in the USA. So much that sometimes older workers, or recently laid off workers take up a job in Starbucks partly because they can get health coverage (mefi related thread with this specific comment making a point).

Ahhh, the good old dilemma: By acting for what you consider to be a common good, you also destroy the only way some people can finance their health care plans. Gotta love capitalism's clever ways.

Links: ConsumeRevolution magazine is 'sheepless' + Toomuchcoffeeman.com on being sued by Starbucks for a parody + sued by Starbucks: related Salon article.

Oh my god I can't believe it I've never been this far away from home.

2006-03-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

I'm off to London for the week end. Have to take care of some business.
Fantastically broke, and so fucking fantastically international.

Why Villepin can kiss my french politics student's a$$.

2006-03-07T15:13:00.000-08:00

Ohlala: French and Angry youth. Credit: AFP

Today was a day of national strike in France. My University participated by blocking access to the classrooms and taking the streets. According to the police, there were about 11.000 people. According to unions, it was closer to 20.000. More than a million in France. Good news.

Aurelie and I were talking about this 'culture of strikes and protests' that is very franco-french.... I wouldn't go as far as to say that if is part of our Revolution's legacy, but sometimes I start thinking it's the case. We both felt that it was more difficult to launch similar mouvements in Canada or even the UK. She was pointing out that during the G8 last summer, protesters were not allowed to walk on the roads, but had to stay on the pavement: policemen and policewomen riding horses were preventing them from using different routes. Insane.

Here, thousands of students invaded the train station and threw themselves on the rails so as to disturb train traffic. I had left at this point (/after walking under the cold rain for two hours, thanks), but apparently policemen threw lacrymogen gas at them, and started hitting some high schoolers. Nice - french policemen are so laid back.

Why a strike you ask?

To be as concise and simple as possible:

9:57 PM me: i'm good.... no class tomorrow, major strike in french Unis

10:06 PM F: why a strike?

10:11 PM me: oh, the french gvt is trying to pass this new law called 'contract for first employment' which allows companies to hire young people from 17 to 26 yrs old for two years, the point is, companies will be able to fire these "new-employees" at any time whithout any reason....increased flexibility for companies, but also less rights for young people.

F: That is how it is here. it is an 'at will' state, you can get fired for any reason at any time.

me: well exactly but it's supposed to be against a specific contract signed by most countries worldwide - one which france signed...it means young people will get f'ed - example: a friend of ours was hired as an aesthetician during the Christmas holidays break because more people were needed - she was hired under this new contract... She got fired right after the holidays because she wasn't needed anymore, when initially the contract was for 2 years.

Moral of the story: "Increased Flexibility" in the workplace can kiss my french ass, and this CPE thing will do nothing in helping to prevent precarity amongst young workers.

Crash.

2006-03-06T02:25:00.000-08:00

Haha! Err, ummm, errr.... oh, the Irony: The fact that the movie 'Crash' won the Oscar yesterday has pushed me in some kind of depressive state of mind when I heard about it this morning on the radio. And yet: it was my favourite movie last year; one that is probably in my all time top 5 favourite flicks, so one would think I would be very glad to hear about the news.

The final song (not the Stereophonics one, but the 'closing credits' song, sung by this cool canadian girl I can't remember the name of right now) has been stuck in my head for two hours now.

Irony replacing cynicism : "I accidentally became a scenester!"

2006-03-03T13:38:00.001-08:00

Let me start this post by saying Congrats to my dear friend Ian, who got engaged while on holidays in Asia. Apparently he just mumbled something ressembling to 'I think we should get married' and his lucky girlfriend said 'yes'. It is a bit strange since Ian is the first of my close friends to get engaged (well, after Cam); it makes me feel too old for my own good (Adulthood! Ga[s]p!), however I am extremely happy for him.

-----------------------

A while ago Boris and I were discussing the numerous drawbacks that living a life of hipster- irony entail. We came to this conclusion: an excessive use of irony tends to make hipsters smother in their own filth. They end up living in an endless and vicious circle where exiting such a condition is almost impossible.

As it was pointed to me by my husband a couple of days ago, "Irony has reached a point where it is aware of it's own carvature: If everything is a joke, we avoid both responsability and consequence".

Vezry true indeed. If one decides to turn his own life into an (albeit funny or arty-conceptual) ongoing joke, then it becomes very, very hard to stop. Musical tastes become a joke, venues, clubs and museums are seen as laughable, and fashion becomes a weapon with which hipsters use as to create a safe distance between themselves and the rest of an often too boring world.

It is a move tainted with cowardice and shalloweness. A move I often refer to as living a life of cop out. But such an entertainning one: when using irony, you allow yourself a certain freedom of movement, choice of behaviour. It's a way of life, it's provocative, and it's fun. You are free to rock out the 80s mustache and mullet, you are allowed to wear leopard-print shoes, you can pose and act retarded in clubs, you can even spin and breakdance in the streets - all in the name of Irony. It shows you perfectly understand mass and pop culture -its codes and language- and are able to manipulate it; it also shows you use enough distanciation so as not to be absorbed by it. In a certain way, it's an act of resistance.
Adbusters-living, but applied to everyday life.

I dropped cynicism a while ago. It wasn't healthy anymore since I over used it. Cynicism forced me to give up on ideals, while pushing be to develop a too-dark outlook on life. However I seem to have replaced it with Irony, and I am not sure I like it that much.

Irony-use is deculped when hanging out with people who share the same taste for making a joke of themselves and their own way of life. We become Generation-X characters, carrying the burden of trends, trying to escape them while only perpertuating them.

Boris and my husband are shiny examples. Our never-ending use of terms such as Post Irony, Post Modern, Posh Modern, Neo Baroque, Neo Yuppie, Post Bobo, Hippy, Chavs, Scenesters speaks louder than anything else. We despise categorisations and yet we are the first to classify something as "emo". We understand the pointlessness and stupidity of such a behaviour, and yet we can't help it. We are the first to underline the fact that 'we do not belong to any specific social circle or scene, because we are very complex and multi-layered individuals', and yet by joking about it all the time we perpetuate clichés.

Case in point: after a couple of days in Paris, Husband and I's conversations got out of control in the irony department. Zfter a serious discussion about the matter, I said that I wanted to give up. From now on I was to only speak my mind in the most honest way, be sincere and wear my heart on my sleeve. I was to listen to folk music instead of electronica. Trade Interpol for Bob Dylan. Erase all musical irony from my i-pod: good bye Duran Duran, and hello Janis Joplin. Replace hipster clothing with a more simple dress code. Going to real cafés instead of spending hours in Paris looking for a Starbucks just for the hell of it. And most importantly: no more Mcdonald's meals for the sake of Capitalist Irony.

We also decided to slap each other each time something ironic was blurted out.

Real case in point: A couple of hours later, we found ourselves in a macdonalds, and then a Disney Store, laughing at how outrageous it would be to go clubbing in all seriousness with a t-shirt adorned with Disney characters. Hell, I found myself in a karaoke bat stating that George Michael's Careless Whipers was the best song ever written. I slapped husband a hundred times, and he did the same.

I am hopeless, but I blame Irony for being another malicious coping-mechanism. It will go away as soon as I move out of France - in a mere 4 months.

"I really like the production on this song" + London's tube owns Paris' underground.

2006-03-01T16:10:00.000-08:00

You know you have fun on your holidays when you end up having conversations that go like this:

Me: I think this is the longest time in five years I have spent without checking my emails.... It's been five days!
Husband: uhhh, okay...
Me: What's the longest time you went without checking your inbox?
Husband [with a savage well-Jessica-aren't-you-pathetic look on his face]: Uhh... nine months?
Me: Oh.

Of course I will have to blog more about "Fear and Loathing in Paris V.1.0 1st edition"; but for the time being I'll sum up the excursion with those few words - The trip's highlights included:

- Wasting time with great conversation in an estimate of 12 (!) different cafés, 4 night bars, one gay club, one pub, one karakoe open all night bar, 3 Macdonalds (sic), two hotels, one restaurant, one Starbucks, one movie theater, two cab rides, one Blues music night club.

- Meeting with Elo,Amélie, Boris, Jane Lola, Delphine, Costa - but unfortunately not Sophie, as I missed her showcase today.

- Snow in Paris.

- Posing in a Montmartre café with husband saying 'I think we should go to the Amélie the movie themed café' with me saying 'Um, no'.

- NOT seeing the Eiffel Tower.

- Husband discovering the OTIARBA ( One Thing I Am Really Bad At) : Mathematics.

- Karakoe in the Red Light Disctrict at 2 in the morning.

- Seeing 50 cents' movie (no, really).

- Discovering that Husband's and I mutual disapproval on music tastes is just this: we hate the same bands and love the same bands, but what we just merely like (as opposed to what we downright adore or really hate), well this we can't agree on.

- Which led us to agree on the best Top 5 ever: Most Commonly Accepted as 'Great' and yet Hated bands. It goes like -

1. Led Zep
2. Pink Floyd
3. Pulp
4. The Cure
5. The Doors

- A totally unintentional play on words that made me laugh for a solid 20 mns. In fact I laughed so much that I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't take it anymore, and my abs are still hurting. And no, I won't write it down, political correctness prevents me from blogging about it. I could not do so without seriously incriminating my own self.

When we were in an Irish pub yesterday night we heard the best song ever: it used the instrumental of this Alanis Morisette's 'One hand in my pocket'song, but had different lyrics. It was sung by a self-described 'Evil Scotsman' and went like 'If you are English or Irish you won't die but I am an evil Scotsman and my name is Jerk' (I think?).

My new goal in life is to find that song title asap. Anyone?

I still [heart] Ken Livingstone + I'm off to 'Romantic' Paris with my 'husband' + I don't have any decent/ironic pics so I post chicks with Tom Ford.

2006-02-24T10:07:00.000-08:00

According to this MeFi thread, this is how the argument between the Daily Mail journalist and Ken Livingstone - Mayor of London suspended today from his functions for a month- went [audio link]:

[The party was to celebrate Chris Smith "coming out" as the first openly gay MP 20 years ago, here's a transcript of the conversation...]

Finegold: Mr Livingstone, Evening Standard. How did tonight go?

Livingstone: How awful for you. Have you thought of having treatment?

Finegold: How did tonight go?

Livingstone: Have you thought of having treatment?

Finegold: Was it a good party? What does it mean for you?

Livingstone: What did you do before? Were you a German war criminal?

Finegold: No, I'm Jewish, I wasn't a German war criminal and I'm actually quite offended by that. So, how did tonight go?

Livingstone: Ah right, well you might be [Jewish], but actually you are just like a concentration camp guard, you are just doing it because you are paid to, aren't you?

Finegold: Great, I have you on record for that. So, how was tonight?

Livingstone: It's nothing to do you with you because your paper is a load of scumbags and reactionary bigots.

Finegold: I'm a journalist and I'm doing my job. I'm only asking for a comment.

Livingstone: Well, work for a paper that doesn't have a record of supporting facism.

Couple of comments:

- When I read Livingstone's last comments, I literally yelled 'Ohh booyah in your face!', for it was well played.

- As a politician with responsabilities - and a duty of correct and respectful representation of the Londonians-, I do think Livingstone fucked up. His workplace behaviour was questionable on this one. However, it appears that he did not know about the journalist's background beforehand.

- And even if he did, it should not matter than the journalist was indeed Jewish or not. An insult is an insult, and this one would have been insulting to me too was I a journalist, and I'm not Jewish. Livingstone could have said that to an afro american, morrocan, algerian, pakistanese, french or german journalist, and I would still say he'd fucked up. In my opinion anyone disagreeing is guilty of discrimination.

- As someone pointed out to me today, 'Um, freedom of speech?'. Indeed. I do not agree with such an insult (even if I admit having laughed), but I also think people are getting carried away as all hell these days. Get real.

- Tabloids in the UK are real racist miserable cunts, and worse. They are guilty of reinforcing racist stereotypes on a daily basis, having the most openly hateful and ignorant headlines out for the public to consume day after day, and I'm supposed to feel sorry for the journalist about this? Oh, fuck off. The day tabloids will stop having headlines associating the Germans to nazis and visible minorities to terrorists, maybe we'll talk. Ken was absolutely right to tell the journalist to get lost in my opinion.

... If 'journalism' is the appropriate word to qualify the Evening Standard/ Daily Mail Group; and I don't think it has been worth the title lately.

This suspension is just plain ridiculous. The fact that Ken refuses to apologizes shows he is a man with serious balls.

(re: He (Ken Livingstone) added: "To the Daily Mail group, no-one in Britain is less qualified to complain about anti-Semitism. In truth, those papers were the leading advocate of anti-Semitism in the country for half a century." He said that while it is true the Daily Mail has moved on from anti-Semitism, it now targets asylum seekers and Muslims.)

(re: That being said, the Guardian timeline is insane(ly interesting).

-------------------

Moving on....I'm off to Paris tomorrow for 5 days, which I will spend with my 'husband'. With a little luck I'll also see Costa, Boris (who's there to interview MPs!) and Amélie.... whom I didn't see since her visit in London last July.

Plans include : alcohol and music, revenge, blood and fights, a bottle of vodka I owe Husband, arguments about Americans and Education, I-pod bashing, a visit to The Louvre (which I never visited... I'm ashamed!), ironic pass-times associated with the Eiffel Tower and Montmartre, and some other random randon random ideas transformed into actions. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be miiillllesss away from what normal people usually do in Paris. I fear it's really going to be pure Fear and loathing.

[if you want a postcard from Paris, email or comment!]

Later, biatches.

Flash Mobs & Ironic meals.

2006-02-22T13:02:00.000-08:00

The hipster handbook says:

'Hipsters have very refined tastes when it comes to food and drink. If pictures of the dishes are on the menu, hipsters usually avoid the establishment. (...) Nevertheless, meals can be ironic, and Hipsters occasionally throw their rules the door to enjoy a kitshy dinner at Denny's or Big boy'.

This made me feel bad, self conscious and amused, considering one of my best memory linked to Vancouver is the Christmas meal Amélie, Boris Mark and I had at Denny's. Yes, on the 25th. And yes, it was brilliant - we were all hangover, highly moody, tired and feeling as if it could have been any day of the year BUT Christmas. Entire families were there, and there we were, four europeans youngsters eating bacon sandwiches and fries with water, not sure why or how we had ended up there, but appreciating the 'omg total losers' feeling of the moment.

[Remember me to write about Boston Pizza meals in BC one day. Those were absolutely blog worthy as well. Trust me.]

Well, our little Valentine's day adventure was an absolute victory for the same reason. Not simply because going against the grain is funny or provocative, but because feeling totally out of place and/or time is challenging.

["challenging" is my new word to define anything or anyone that actually keeps me awake and proactive (which is another way to define people of things that I actually have time for I'd suppose: "Wow. Well, aren't you challenging!")].

Then today I came across this article in Stay Free Magazine! about the old/new trend that is Flash Mobs. I think the term could originate from the whole political 'flash movements' craze?

"The gatherings should be less than ten minutes long. And they should be absurd or funny, they shouldn't be explicitly political." But then, people still saw the absurd things as being political."

I couldn't care less how 'scene' those flash mobs are or not; I think they make for an exceptionally interesting case study of cooperative behaviour - one created thanks to the internet and text messages, that in turn becomes something real and 'out there', for an 'outsider' public to see and ponder.

I love the absurdity of it all. Because it's pointless, it's challenging. Alas it eventually becomes political to everyone's dismay and loses its 'wtf?' vibe (just like Metadadaism will eventually become political, erm yeah? Yeah. Oh no.)

I guess this also highlights how any and everything (from ironically eating at Denny's to call 'nothing' Art) is a political statement. I don't know if it makes me happy or make me want to die.

That being said, when reading about flash mobs I had a strong sense of déjà-vu... I can be wrong, and welcome anyone who could provide me a link to back up my comments, but I think this very 'spontaenous public gathering' occured in London this summer? I remember something in the papers about a bunch of people suddenly busting weird dance moves at the exact same time in the tube station (I even think it was on the Victoria Line, or was it Camden Station?).

Am I making this up?

(edit: Nope, but this link illustrates a different flashmob. See also, this link.)

I think M and I are settled for an ironic meal at Mcdo or somewhere similar as soon as he gets to Paris. This should be fun since he is an ex-vegetarian (or so he says, I am pretty sure he'll faint as soon as I'll force him to eat a BigMac). Gossip : It's just like when Ian lectured me about my smoking habits but recently told me that he had started smoking in Thailand. I'm not sure he took up the habit for its ironic value though.

Side note: Best new english word I've learned today: Butskellism. This word is awesome, and I am sorry to admit I can't find a better adjective to qualify it.

Intellectual vs. manual masturbation.

2006-02-21T11:26:00.000-08:00

Two things.

First, I laugh at those who maintain that the generational gap and technological divide between adults and youngsters is too deep or important to overcome.

Second, I love my grandmother.

My grandmother was born in the mid 1910s and despite having lived through wars and merely four different (economics-centered) generations, she remains one of the most optimistic role models one could wish to have in a family. Not only she sees the glass as half full and says stuff like 'where there's life, there's hope', but she also knows how to send emails and chat on MSN. And that's about as cool as one can get when reaching eight or nine decades. She even uses smileys! When I tell people about it, they barely believe me.

I say this because my grandmother also has the habit of printing every single picture I ever send her via e-mails. She also prints my cousin's photographs. I sent her this picture above today and I know what will happen to it. When I came back home from Canada she proudly showed me how she had printed almost every single picture sent to her in nine months. She loves me, and I love her. Simple as that. Oh, I may have been horrible to her sometimes, and she knows how to be terribly annoying at times (what can I say? I blame this on typical Latin behaviour, all the women in my family tend to be fiercly independent and like to argue more than we like to tell each other how much we actually care about one another. Plus, she's from Corsica), but she rules.

Come to think of it, I believe she has more rock n roll points that I ever will earn in my lifetime.

She's also one of the best cook I have ever came across in my life. She's just that: gifted. She knows how to arrange colours and tastes, textures and shades. She passed this talent to my mother, and I'd like to think I'm not that bad myself. It will probably take me ages to reach their level - and quite frankly I do not know if I have the patience for it.

I used to feel guilty. Everyday cooking (as opposed to professional cooking) is such a female-centered activity that I would feel as if I was betrayed my feminist principles in taking pleasure in such an activity. It changed, and that might very weel be the most 'french' side of my personality: I consider the 'food and wine' field to be Art. Magic appears when you know how to be creative, how to blend mixtures and spices, how to present and design meals.

Last week I went on a rant stating that Intellectuals were good for nothing minus intellectual masturbation. That jobs and acitivities requiering craftsmanship were more honourable, for they made for useful results. Being a cook, a furniture designer, a surgeon, a hairdress, for a while it appeared as quite a seductive answer to my existencial problems.

Then I discussed it with someone (whom I am not allowed to quote anymore, so he'll remain anynymous) who pointed out:

'Unfortunately woodwork class at school seemed to be full of sociopaths making weapons while the teacher wasn't looking, (...) books and rock n roll was the only viable alternative...'

I had to laugh and agree, acknowledging that Intellectuals' work is essential to society. But 'making useful, tangible things' is still the shit.

I would post a picture of the wonderful kiwis, pineapples, strawberries and acacia honey salad I had for dinner, but that would be going a little bit too far.

I wouldn't want to kill my 'cool' blog cred, now would I?

Untitled (askmefi love, our magazine, and my holidays).

2006-02-20T13:23:00.000-08:00

This is why I love Metafilter and its counterpart AskMefi: I had a specific question and people gave me insanely great and helpful answers. Best of the web indeed.

On another note, our second issue of Volte Face (the magazine) will be printed tomorrow. Articles will include: a look at Jamaican women in music, Drag queens and Hip Hop, a portrait ( a woman fired by her boss for questionnable reasons, who sued and went to court), a Brokeback mountain review from a 'gender centered' point of view, and remarks about labiaplasties. I wrote the article about the latter subject, and suggest you google it if you don't know what I'm referring to.

Just, erm, just don't google it at work.

Also: Ryan Adams is playing London on Friday and 1. It's sold out 2. I can't go since I'll have to be in Paris by Saturday to begin my holidays with Mark, that is if a) he makes it to France alive and b) there's no train strikes.

I think a good name for these upcoming days in the capital would be: "Fear and loathing in Paris". But we'll have to see.

So deck: "Phones should have a drunk lock!"

2006-02-18T12:46:00.000-08:00

Clearly, this is me impersonating Julian Casablancas.

"Emo? Oh please. Emo boys are like.... Guys with fire flames tattooed on their forearms and yet they don't drink alcohol" - The young office manager at the think tank I interned at last summer.

"Many hipsters choose to wear the same style/clothes as the lead singer of their favourite band." - The Hipster handbook

"Now I totally look like the bass player from Death From Above 1979... cool uh?" - Someone I used to know

"Eating meat is suburban."

The great thing about researching youth trends and Gen Y is that I get to have the best excuse ever to buy books I would normally feel too self conscious purchasing in a book store, or even online for that matter. For the sake of "Research" I therefore ordered 'The Hipster handbook' off Amazon, and don't regret it for one second. It's the best (albeit self depreciating and guilty) laugh I've had in a while.

Some time ago I came across a great remark on Zephoria's weblog: she was stating that often, conducting academic research is the equivalent of chasing your own demons. It struck me as brilliant, and I think she is spot on. After all, Boris is currently writing about gay lobbies in Europe, Aurelie is writing about female world reporters and journalism, and I'm writing about blogging. I do not know if it will lead me anywhere or will help adding some relativism to my approach to blogs, self-publishing and generational gaps, but I figure if I am to spend months reading about a specific topic, it might as well be something that's relevant to my own existence.

According to the Hipster handbook, I fit in the 'Polit' category: 'political and literary'. I think it means 'pretentious human beings who are full of shit', but I'm okay with it. And because I'm always up to self depreciating humour, I'll post the most relevant parts of the description:

'Disposition: Melancholy. Despite their cynical exterior, Polits are the most romantic of the Hipster personality types and are always loyal to the ones they love. Though Polits usually prefer coffee and other stimulants, they often take to booze and begin carrying flasks when agonizing over a relationship gone sour. A tad melodramatic maybe, but flasks are undeniably deck'.

'Nothing can be sexier to the Polit than sitting at the bar with the right tassel or cronkrite, discussing the merits of socialism'.

'Question: Are you a hipster?

Answer: Shut up, Fascist'.

Oh, I know many of you are reading it with a rigid forced smile on your face.

The book is savage because it's oviously written by someone with humour who knows what he is talking about. I do agree that simplifying individuals is brutally ignorant and downright stupid - Hell, the entire sum of work we've produced this year for our magazine aims to deconstruct prejudices and pigeon-holing, stating that we are complex individuals who are more than an image vehiculed by the mass media; we'd like to think we are the results of (emotional, artistic, familial, physical, spiritual or societal) experiences- but I can't argue : there's some truth to it.

The best part is when the writer suggests a list of celebrities hipsters usually have crushes on. It includes Bright eyes' singer (check), Ryan Adams (triple check), Adrien Brody (...check), Vincent Gallo (well, check), Andre 3000 (yeup, check), Gael Garcia Bernal (fuck yes, check), Jack Gyllenhaal (sigh, check), and... Paul Auster (...what?!).

The Paul Auster reference is highly insulting. I have been in love with him - his work- since I was fourteen. Literally - and there is no way I was already trying (or not) to be hip at the time. His work just speaks to me in the most honest way one could imagine. I know some people now refer to this specific 'literate' crowd as 'those Paul Auster fans' , and if I am one then so be it, but this has nothing to do with posing. It has to do with genuine love for his ideas and concepts.

Deliberate excuses-finding out of the way...I also think the list of female celebrities is funny. It includes Scarlett Johansson (Hi Mark!), Audrey Tautou, Sofia Coppola, Cat Power and Asia Argento.

Funny story: There was a researcher at the think tank I interned for who was so obviously too cool to be true. He was 25, Beatles-ish back and already grey hair , wore sneakers and sweaters with stripes and buttons. Listenned to the Raveonettes. He made mixtapes on old school tapes and always seemed to be elsewhere when one would try to talk to him. One day we were standing outside on a smoking break and I noticed his button said 'DFA'. I said, 'Does it stand for Death From above?' and he answered, 'Um no, for DFA the label record... And it's Death from Above 1979' with an offended/surprised look on his face.

A couple of days later another reseacher pointed out that he was mad because now that I was there, he wasn't the only 'cool' person in the office. He blurted out a 'pffft hmmph blah' answer which was extravagant, smug and seriously funny.

"Basically" (...and you know I say it with this savage accent).

2006-02-15T14:05:00.000-08:00

Pâle septembre, comme il est loin, le temps du ciel sans cendres

il serait temps de s'entendre sur le nombre de jours

qui jonchent le sol d'octobre

Mâle si tendre au début de novembre devint sourd aux avances de l'amour

mais quel mal me prit de m'éprendre de lui ?

Sale décembre comme il est lourd le ciel

sais-tu que les statues de sel ont cessé de t'attendre ?

Pâle septembre, Entends-tu le glas que je sonne ?

Je t'aime toujours d'amour, je sème l'amour.

Les saisons passent mais de grâce faisons semblant qu'elles nous ressemblent

Mais qui est cet homme qui tombe de la tour ?

Mais qui est cet homme qui tombe des cieux ?

Mais qui est cet homme qui tombe amoureux ?

Camille.

Also. We are NEVER EVER doing this Mcdo marathon thing. EVER.

Get Fucked or Die Tryin' (c) Boris on V-day

2006-02-14T08:28:00.000-08:00

Edit: Boris goes all philosophical about love...errrm sex.

Well so far the day's been great.

Woke up at 8.40 after 4 hours of sleep to go to Mcdonalds. Boris was sick so I went with A. And there wasn't any Mcmornings :( Valentine blasphemy! So we had to eat muffins and other assortiments of disgusting frozen Mcpatisseries while mumbling words of love and friendship.

I then had to run to my philosophy class, but by 1 Boris and I were eating burgers at another fast food place. And they were absolutely disgusting.

The we went to a posh store and pretended to be a married couple wanting to establish a wedding list. We spent a good ten minutes talking (really) expensive coffee and expresso machines, with the girl totally buying it:
'Are you going to get married soon?'
'Yes!' (big smile, Boris looking at me slightly horrified, slightly lol'ing)

Then we got caught in a massive strike/protest of thousands of high school/Uni students protesting against governmental reforms. So we followed them. Civic duty and all...

And it rained hard. And then we coined the new mouvement 'neo-baroque'. Which is smooth.

I can't waaaaait to eat at mcdo tonight! Maybe we'll also go see 50 cent's latest movie.

Best day ever.

A decent picture for once + Post modern life

2006-02-13T11:10:00.000-08:00

This is Matt's picture. He posted it on his blog. His Mac manipulations made us look good so of course I'm going to post it too. I think we'd have to add 'Versace couture' on the top left and we're good to be in a magazine. Well maybe not.

Culture Jamming:

So about Valentine's day.... In my year-round attempt to deconstruct stereotypes, preconceived ideas and ridiculous commercial holidays, Boris and I came up with this very post modern idea:

We are going to do a fast-food marathon on Valentine's day. Until we can't take it anymore. It's going to be savagely weird.

That's just about the least romantic thing we came up with. I tried to recruit other people today and it might just work. We are going to meet at Macdonald's tomorrow morning at 9.

Morning: Going to have the biggest Mcmorning meal with McMuffins and all that.

Noon: Off to Subway. We'll probably have two foot long sandwiches. Good times.

Dinner: Burger eating competition at Mcdonalds.

I said I'd cut heart shaped things in our BigMac boxes. I'm also thinking about bringing out a book with poems by Appolinaire or Baudelaire, reading this verse:

Angel of kindness, have you tasted hate?
With hands clenched in the shade and tears of gall,
When Vengeance beats her hellish battle-call,
And makes herself the captain of our fate,
Angel of kindness, have you tasted hate?*

as loud as I can while we are eating as many french fries as we can.

Mark came up with a way better idea than mine: he'll go to a restaurant by himself with a rose and a framed picture of one of his friend and he's going to have dinner alone. How fantastically awkward.

* From Baudelaire's Reversibility poem.

Also: My ad in Seattle's the Stranger magazine this year isn't about Seattle but almost...it is somewhere here. Feel free to browse.

ABBA IS BRILLIANT and I'll say it again!

2006-02-12T11:17:00.000-08:00

This is M. - I think the picture is brilliant and no he didn't give me permission to blog it but I figure what the hell, go ahead and sue me if you dare.

Little can be said about this weekend, for it had to be lived and not told about. Matt got the crazy idea to travel all the way from London on thursday, and by Friday night he was here in town partying hard.

Being post modern we had the brilliant idea to try to go to the worst clubs in town, which is a fairly easy task if you ask me. So 2 clubs, one bar de nuit and something like 5 bars later, I think it's safe to say we both OWNED every bar we walked in.

Except for the guy with sunglasses who didn't give a fuck and told me I looked like Cher. Clearly he was cooler than we could ever hope to be.

Highlights included:

Matt: "Dude! They're playing ABBA! ABBA is genius, it's BRILLIANT! My mother was listenning to it when I was 4! I LOVE THEM!"

Jessica: "Haha I am so going to blog it, that's lame."

Matt: "Yeah well blog it I don't care! ABBA IS BRILLIANT AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN"

Coming from someone who likely knows more about music than I do (well someone who can play instruments), that was funny.

Boris finding us at a so called rock Drum n Bass kind of bar. Just escaped a gay-republican party, and completely wasted. "I AM SO DRINK RIGHT NOW".

Having to wake up at 10 on sunday morning for Matt to catch his train back to London. Wait, this did not rule at all.

I am NOT going to blog about the fame/aids joke, nor I plan on blogging about making out on the dancefloor (erm.), nor will I blog about us laughing at the expense of someone with an arm missing. Matt: 'Clearly I'm going straight to hell anyways'.

Over-used words or expressions this week end:

'This is awesome'

'Dude'

'Aids'

'Let's go to the GAY BAR GAY BAR'

'Start a nuclear war'

Q: 'What are you thinking about?' A: 'Nothing'

'This club sucks'

Policemen bashing randomata.

Church bashing chaos.

''I'm going to punch you in the face'

'Defo' (Mark's trademark, I have to admit)

About buzzwords, Gen X, political vernacular and the fact that 'Words are bollocks' :-<

2006-02-08T12:15:00.001-08:00

In an outstanding performance in the 1998 movie Bullworth, Warren Beatty embodies a Democrat presidential candidate who is struck by some mysterious spell, and who starts speaking the truth to masses. He is slowly letting go of all his heinous and clever rhetoric, and only states pure facts and realities. His speeches drive his advisers and public relations consultants on the verge of a nervous breakdown: he uses slang and harsh, vulgar words; flames his own supporters and lobbyists for investing in oil companies; and when visiting a baptist church in South Central, yells to an African American audience:

'Of course democrats only want your votes! Don't think I am here today because I actually cares about black people!'

... Needless to say, Beatty's character gets killed by a governmental agency before the end of the movie, for he is out of control and a threat to political institutions nationwide. In that sense, Orwell, in all his legendary subtelty, is right: gouvernmental officials should from time to time create a difference by dropping their conventional language of Politics, and adress the Nation in an honest prose, without being able to hide behind politically correct words and ready to use sentences.

Buzzwords and acronyms such as 'WTO', 'alterglobalisation', 'indiemedia' are icons of simplification when it comes to complex issues - they often represent vague notions and ideas which people understand but do not grasp the entire reality of. And wo would blame the people? The never ending use of those terms, both within politics and the media landscape, makes the pointing and blaming game as simple and effective as a child's toy. It becomes as easy as pie to accuse 'bad governance' for any domestic issues, or 'globalisation' for international ones, without having to publicly go into details and produce long reports on why the WTO's rules turn into local decisions, which in turn send people on the dole.

The use of acronyms seems to be inherent in post baby boomers generations' communicational lifeworlds. In his novel Generation X, Coupland made up entire lists of 'post modern' words (such as 'McJobs' or 'I-ism') in order to illustrate his cynical and yet hilarious outlook on our present abuse of categorizations, which achieve nothing but pigeon-hole complex notions and individuals.

However, in this an accelerated culture, the use of such vernacular might prove to be useful, if vicious and misleading in essence. The media need to pass on tons of news content and comments as quickly and efficiently as possible, just as politicians do. Therefore they need to set a common set of references, which anyone can understand in the blink of an eye. It might be indeed pure wind, but it answers to present obligations and demands, which originate from the PR and media markets.

It might create some confusion, albeit a helpful one for political mentors, and it might also participate in the rise of alienation from the elite -who knows what really is at stake when using terms such as globalisation- and the masses, who more and more end distancing themselves from official forms of governments (the low turn out of voters speaks loud enough). The former prefer to associate themselves with 'single issue protests' or flash movements (Make Poverty History, street protests against wars or oil price).

This might prove to be encouraging, showing that democracy is far from moribund and that people do care, but are tired to be manipulated by distant forces using a newspeak which does not sound truthful or convincing anymore. They want to take matters in their own hands and obtain real, visible results, while forgetting about hypocritical strategies aiming to get them to vote for someone whom at the end of the day might not be able to make any valuable difference in their every day lives.

The next step would be to ask the media to go more in depth when using terms tending to oversimplify a discourse. It might also mean that the media needs more accuracy, and unbiased commentary and analysis.

When recently reading about Orwell writing that 'one can at least change one's habit', I immedialty thought about David Letterman, who as recently receiving Fox News' Bill O'reilly a few weeks ago. After a long debate on politics, Bush's policies and the 'necessity' to go to war, Letterman - usually a neutral, polite host- lost his nerve and told O'reilly:

'I think 60 % of what you say is crap'.

That was a bold (if surprising!) move, but it was also sending O'reilly's hateful bias and lies into the dustbin. Where they belong. I cheered. We need more people able to take a stand and speak out, if only to start more debates. Because that's exactly what politicians fear: people pointing out their mistakes. It creates more accountability asked from the government, and de facto fewer lies.

Now, if only we had more journalists like the late Ed Murrow - ones who are not afraid of cornering powerful politicians, just doing their jobs while honouring their allegiance to Truth- seeking. In other words, what if we had more BBC and less Clear Channel?

Surely political language would drastically change. One can only hope.

Married conversations.

2006-02-07T15:39:00.000-08:00

"when I think about you, I touch myself '' dit :
Haha! My friend just asked me what I would do if I had a time machine....
jess - 'You're calling me for 11 seconds??!!' dit :
and?
''when I think about you, I touch myself '' dit :
I said I'd go back in time and punch a dinosaur in the face...and then i'd kill myself as a child to see what happened.
jess - 'You're calling me for 11 seconds??!!' dit :
the second option is totally sick. I'd probably go to the Middle Ages and start acting all punk and force serfs to listen to Rage against the machine. I'd be all 'you dudes ever heard of communism?'
''when I think about you, I touch myself '' dit :
Yeah...i'd put laptops in neanderthal graves...just to fuck with archeologists
jess - 'You're calling me for 11 seconds??!!' dit :
haha hilarious. Or wait... I'd go to see the slaves in cotton fields going like 'Well where i come from machines do this shit now'
''when I think about you, I touch myself '' dit :
Go to the nurenberg rallies and wave cnd placards? We'd be the best time travellers ever... as long as I get to punch a dinosaur in the face.
jess - 'You're calling me for 11 seconds??!!' dit :
haha! Or go to Bejing in 1934 and be all 'Well clearly THIS WONT WORK, but keep on working in communitarian fields and stuff!'
jess - 'You're calling me for 11 seconds??!!' dit :
clearly the dinosaur would eat you before you hit him
''when I think about you, I touch myself '' dit :
just one punch, that's all i'd ask for
jess - 'You're calling me for 11 seconds??!!' dit :
Maybe i'd go to the white house and pass myself for Monica circa 1995 just so i can suck Bill Clinton's c#ck
''when I think about you, I touch myself '' dit :
You want to be famous for that...?
jess - 'You're calling me for 11 seconds??!!' dit :
well okay that was hardcore but i love bill.
''when I think about you, I touch myself '' dit :
Lol! You'd have to!

In other news, Emilie Simon's new cd is out soon (picture). For those who do not know, she's the woman who did the soundtrack for this retarded movie about penguins. She's brilliant and gorgeous. And also mesmerizing live. Boris is an absolute fan and I think I love her too.

604-5#2-##47, 250-###-2###, + 003# 2#727#9#8

2006-02-06T10:48:00.000-08:00

I was furiously typing away emails this afternoon - 'quick quick quick, only 5 minutes before my spanish class'-, typing typing and then running and rushing to the Door 113 so as not to be late, and in the process forgot my mobile phone in the computer room at University.

I've never been one to be attached/addicted to my cell phone, unlike so many of my generation. Geoffrey can testify: he calls me every week, and every week I listen to him and vaguely answer something along those lines 'Uhuh...Uhmmm, yeah, oh really? Uhuh' which must be greatly annoying to him. But he's too nice to ever underline my hideously arrogant phone behaviour. Quite frankly I hate talking on the phone unless it's international calls, because it makes me feel like I'm travelling. Nothing sexier than talking to someone who's in a different time zone or in a different country. It leaves me feeling like the world is mine, if only for brief and filled-with-illusions seconds.

I was talking about cell phones with someone the other day, and he pointed out:

'On a side-Paul-Auster-y note, don't you love it when you dial lost and forgotten phone numbers, like the ones above (he says boastfully) ? Something about the physical memory of your fingers on familiar keys, an identity in the position and sequence of the numbers. Cell phones sort of ruin this, because you just hit, Jessica, and bam, we're talking. (...)

At least I think so... and so Scott will forever look like 9## 4##6, Megan will be 4## 0##5 (the only phone number I was able to remember from the first time I heard it), and when I was a younger person, I was 46## 1##2'.

I loved his comments. And I could not agree more. There's only a couple of numbers I will remember my entire life.

My home phone number, aka the phone number of the house I grew up in.

My best friend's home number, which is ridiculous considering he was my neighbour, and he were able to talk face to face from one yard to another anytime we wanted.

My other best friend's home number.

And that's about it. I don't even know my own mobile cell number, and don't plan on learning yours.

Well, not exactly- being cellphoneless in Vancouver I had to memorise some numbers. I used to know B's ones by heart, his home number in particular. I blame it on the fact that I spent my entire week in Vancity trying to get hold of him but would always end up leaving messages to his family's answering machine. That was the Irony of my first week in Canada: I was finally just about 10 miles from B, but we spent the first seven days after I arrived only being able to communicate via emails. Grand!

I also remembered Amelie's, and P's cell phone number, which was ridiculously easy to memorise. All of these felt like security nets, numbers burried in my head, numbers as people to reach in case I needed to talk. Numbers as a way to reach other people, people in turn becoming numbers, but not only.

I have this theory that when things go bad or wrong with someone, you tend to forget about them in their numeric form. I forgot the email adresses of lost friends who are not in touch anymore. I also forgot phone numbers I used to momentarily know by heart.

When things got tricky between B and I last year (and if you are reading this, don't take offense dear), I wasn't able to remember his cell phone number after a few months, and witnessed myself gradually losing my memory when it came to such little but precious details such as 'contact informations'. Those things that seem so vital to know when entering a relationship, or solid friendship.

By January, I had to check the dirty little piece of paper burried in my handbag to remind myself what numbers to dial in order to reach him. 'Does his end with a -47 or with a -57?' I would ask myself, not sure anymore.

But when I asked him a couple of weeks ago for his home number, I was surprised to see, when entering it in my cell phone, that it indeed felt familiar to type it in. I remembered B as 604-5#2-##47. It sort of... came back to me.

The only slightly annoying detail in this little story is that, rightfully thinking I am over P, I tried to remember his cell phone number, thinking I wouldn't be able to (obviously this would have validated my above theory). I was a bit disdraught when realising I still knew it by heart. The best thing about it all? Maybe he doesn't even have the same phone number, because who knows. But god knows I dialled this damn number a billion times from a billion different places and maybe more. From my Vancouver flat to my London flat to the Vancouver Museum to phone booths on Davie Street, from the English Bay to Amelie's home phone to the Airport of Montreal, from the Ferry station to Camden High Street in London or my bedroom in France. So I can only guess it's fair that my brain won't forget it easily.

Right, Right.

ps. Husband, I almost know your number by heart... getting there, but it's only because the phone card makes me type it everytime! 11 seconds call rules.

Text messaging in the pit of a rock concert is not an easy task.

2006-02-05T10:48:00.000-08:00

I conducted a little experiment this week end. I called it 'How many text messages does it take to blow up 25 euros worth of phone credit in less than two days'.

The answer is:

An average of 10 France to France texts.

An average of 40 texts France to UK.

And a couple of less than 5 mns long phone calls.

I always hated texting people. Who in their right mind would spend money texting when they can do it freely on instant messaging devices? Plus, how can you type properly on a mobile phone? Seriously now, get real.

Reading about the 'Internet generation' this week end I learned that Text Messaging was at the beginning only inteded to be used in emergency cases. At least phone companies/corporations thought so, even if I am not if makes a lot of sense. Say you're in a car accident, are you going to text message 911 something like 'HELP! Midhighway 56 West! Am bleeding, come take me to an hospital' ? But then teens got hold of the whole text thing and all hell broke lose, and the service exploded, creating a new market and new investment opportunities.

I was also very surprised to see how little young persons were using texts in Canada compared to UK, where it gets, quite frankly, hysterical. When I was in Vancouver last year, P didn't even realise he could receive text messages on his cell, and only did so when I pointed out he had received texts from his sister.

But anyways... this week end texting sessions became Art. I loved texting. But erm, Don't drink and dial (c) Mark.

I think the best texts I sent were total random ones (as well as some I sent my husband and would like to forget about, but that's fine since I did not go back to my 'sent items' inbox to see what insanities I sent over the week end, my attorney advised me not to).

Favourite texts sent while I was hanging out bored and alone at the Art Brut gig:

'THE DEVIL ALSO HAS TENESSEE! There's a guy here who looks just like you!Heavy!Fine don't text me back I won't text you again EVAR!I fancy Dick Cheney!!!'

'Well fuck me I'm at the venue and everyone looks like french rednecks! Should I yell SAY NO TO DRUGS KIDZ STRAIGHT EDGE!!!'

Best texts I received over the week end (Identities erased to protect, errr...people...)...

'Sure I'm the only hot poser you need my darling wife. MODERN ART, MAKES ME, WANT TO ROCK OUT'

'Deal, Can you imagine a transcript of these texts tomorrow, on my weblog? I can?'

'Gaylord... Oh good lord. It's getting just plain weird now'

'I'm actually goimg for pizza. Im on my own tomm' (this one was sent three times!)

'Englsh gross'

'Va Y descend' (that one is Boris, and it's now a classic!)

'You cheeky fucker! I'm trying to juggle 4 dj's, two decks, two ipods and a pc and you throw that into the mix? Pity you don't have anything to say!'

What's great about this post is that obviously, you have to imagine the context and use your imagination. However yesterday I came up with the best idea while waiting for Art Brut to take the stage: Matt and I played a text version of 'Truth or dare' and I ended up having to do the Matt pose, looking like a retard in the middle of the pit.

ps. If I don't answer any of your texts today it's because I obviously exploded my credit.Sorry about that.

ps2. Art Brut kind of sucked. But the singer ended up playing the entire set in socks cos someone took his shoes off when he was crowdsurfing.

I could be a great star still I'm far from happy

2006-02-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

So far this week end--- I got married. That's not bad, for a friday night. I have been told that if I was to blog any details I would get killed. In fact I think the text said 'If you blog this, I will kill you'.

But for now, I'm off to see Art Brut. And because everyone bailed out on me, I'm going to go alone. Without my husband, and without my friends. FINE! I'll just pose alone!

Interviewing bloggers really have become addictive. It gives a much clearer picture of the blogosphere than I expected. I'm also impressed at how the motivations differs from one generation (X) to another (Y). Of course I'd need to interview 50 bloggers to have a valid pannel and it's impossible, but so far, so good. Good god, research rules.

Also. This is my friend Sophie (picture). She plays a showcase in Paris on March 1st. I'll try to be there. You should too. I saw her live maybe 3 times now, and she's great, lively, talented and soulful. Not to mention lovely.

EMAILSLOL!!!1 + go pimp for the prophet!

2006-02-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

Jessica R*** to M*******, Boris
Hide options 3:46 pm (13 minutes ago)
From: Jessica R+++
Mailed-By: gmail.com Date: Feb 3, 2006 3:46 PM
Subject: lol...?

My friend mark. so wrong. http://strangeinvitation.blogspot.com/2006/02/infadels.html
Might be NSFW, i dunno.

M:

what's nsfw? this shit is funny.

Jess:

The 'i said use bigger nails!' one made me totally laugh out loud. Then because i'm so PC i was all 'ohhh maybe i shouldnt laugh' but shit this is so funny. NSFW = not safe for work. Can't believe u dunno that?

M:

Dude, i don't surf porn sites at work like you.

------------------

Matt moved back to London From Ohio and joined the European team again. Yes! He says on his blog:

'I don’t know if I’m the biggest fan of North London. I mean, i lived In Highbury before which was ideal, but this is a bit farther up there. First off, goodness, its cold as hell. Second off, i don’t know how i feel about the peeps. Jess claims Camden rocks. I dunno. I just remember calling someone and they go, “well....first off....GET OUT OF CAMDEN....then get on the tube and get to archway” so that was hilarity at best. I was like. “ok......”. '

So funny. I don't know how much I care about North London past Camden, as I find it a little bit cold too, but Camden NEVER did strike me as 'dangerous' or anything. More than anything, everyone was adorable, I made friends with the most random people (fromIsham, the guy at the Cyber café, to the German wannabe-singer-artist who was selling candies in Camden Market). I strongly sensed 'community' in the Camden aera. Which made it great and friendly and diverse and just what London is supposed to be.

I liked South London a fair bit, the neighbourhood where I worked (London Bridge) was fine, and I almost lived in East London, which was also very rock n roll. But I don't think I'd ever dig living in West London. *cough* Posh stuck up arrogant London *cough*.

Matt's hat/toque or whatever the name is is really really cool. Fashionable and rock n roll, the man has style.

'When we need trite crap to soothe our savage souls, we’ll kidnap Celine Dion.'

2006-02-02T18:38:00.000-08:00

We wanted to play the drinking speech of the union game, but missed it. So instead I shall direct you to the Fuck the State of the Union rant.

"Sorry, was that a little too direct for you? You were hoping to conduct politics in a more . . . civil tone? Fuck you. We’re not complete morons out here, you know. We didn’t miss the fact that your minions outed a CIA agent out of spite, or started rumors that McCain had fathered an illegitimate black child, or said that Democrats’ response to 9/11 was to find Al Qaeda a good therapist. And that’s just Karl Rove."

Officially on my to-do list of 2006: Meet the guy who writes these speeches. So much anger, fire and fury. I love it and it makes me die laughing.

Coming up on this blog tomorrow:

- Comments on 'The King' with Gael Garcia Bernal. Phew. Blew me away. B and I were thinking, we keep on seeing excellent after excellent independant movies these days. Rock on.

- I can cry when arguing + Britishness.

- Remember when last year I posted a Valentines' ad on Seattle's weekly genius publication The Stranger? Remember my blog post about it? (scroll down to Feb 13th) Guess what, I did it again... But for this one, you will have to wait a bit.

- Mark and I texting back and forth: 'Sorry I was a c*nt' / 'If you feel stupid, then i feel retarded'. Umm, alright. Also: It's impossible to interview him because I suck at it, and he sucks at it.

Officially my best pun of the year so far.

2006-02-01T04:35:00.000-08:00

Boris and I, leaving the theater yesterday Night. We just saw 'Viva Zapatero!', a great italian documentary about censorship on italian public television channels and in newspapers. It has certainly inspired us, and we're talking about careers:

Boris: I don't know if I'll ever be a diplomat. I don't know if I am convincing enough?

Jessica: Well I suppose you have to have enough charisma to be really convincing.

Boris: Yeah they'd be like 'Okay, Let's go To Iraq!' and I'd be like 'Ummm nooo...welll...okay..well....yes.'

Jessica: You know what you need to be? A mediator. You're the voice of the reason, and you're fair and balanced. You can actually be in between both sides and calm them down. At the UN or some similar instance.

Boris: Does such a job even exist? Like, mediator of what?

Jessica: Oh I don't know dude give me a break, mediator of My Balls or something. Between the Right and the Left...

You cannot quit me so quickly + Hello, I'm in Delaware.

2006-01-31T10:26:00.000-08:00

Clearly I'd get fired asap if I was to name the company I work for, but I think the best moment of the day was:

Being responsible of the clothing-posh-posh-store for the entire day, all by myself.
Meaning, no boss around.

And you KNOW there's no way in jesusland I am going to listen to their pre-made shite cds (mainly tasteless french RnB and Mariah Carey-sounding music. The very best they play is Feist. It gives you an idea... Their music is the main reason why I have splitting headaches when I get back home at night).

So when I came back from my 30 minutes lunch break I also brought along some cds. Who was going to find out? Certainly not my boss. Because I couldn't plug in my ipod into their stereo system, and needed a mix (not cds entirely sung by the same person), I decided to play Rob's 2005 and 2004 mixtapes.

It seemed to please the clients (err-- let's say they didn't notice a change), and I was very content with at-last-acceptable music, so that was perfect.

... Until suddenly - as I was giving fashion tips*** to a super posh fake blonde 50 years old something client- the sterero screamed:

I GOT FUCKED BY LIBERTY MUTUAL
I GOT FUCKED BY LIBERTY MUTUAL
I GOT FUCKED BY LIBERTY MUTUAL
NOW LIBERTY MUTUAL CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVEEEEEEEEEES
ARRGHHHH (C) Whitey Houston.

And course I couldn't exactly run to the music system to stop the song, so i pretended nothing was wrong with the music. Good times.

Another great thing about being at work alone: I got to read one entire book and three thesis* in one single setting. That's more than I ever work if I am at home sitting in front of my computer.

But seriously now. I'm broke and I'm a student and not a single thing in my dresser is worth more than 40 bucks and I can honestly say that I dress with more taste than 80 percent of the women entering the store to blow 300 bucks in one setting.

* What's the plural of thesis?
** Picture from pics of walls website.

*** I can't believe i said 'I was giving fashion tips'. Fuck me.

**** See Mark? Totally copying you on this one.

Oh yeah most importantly. Someone pointed me towards a major new art movement called Metadadaism. Art as nothing.

HIRE ME + ...

2006-01-30T10:45:00.000-08:00

I need to brag, if only quickly. I DESTROYED the TOEFL test. I scored 112 out of 120. Dudes, it means 673 out of 700 for the paper based equivalent. Got 30 out of 30 at the writing section!

COME ON NOW, WHO WANTS TO HIRE ME?

I got great TOEFL results. Also, I'm efficient and hard working (if I think the job is challenging enough), dedicated (same remark), and I think outside the box, coming up with original and creative ideas. I'm a fast thinker, great multitasker (and I count MSN in this!), and I am extremely proactive. I deal well with team projects (read: I am convincing enough to make people see why my way is worth trying). And also, I'm fun and have been known to make people laugh in the office, creating a friendly (yet serious) working environment.

I expect at least 234 job offers in my mail box by tomorrow morning at 9.

------------------

I received an email yesterday asking me to explain my views on blogging vs the press a little more, and because I don't know if the person would like to see his email copied here, I will refrain from posting it. But for those who are interested in blogging vs journalism, here's my take on it. Nevermind the nonsense because I wrote this in 5 minutes.

Hi!

My take on it is, and i'm biased because i'm a blogger (...and you work for a paper, this conversation is so doomed)...

Biased point of view: I'm pissed off when i see blogs by newspapers. Like the ones you find in Le Monde. Or in the Guardian. Yes i do indeed see why the format is useful (london bombings comes to mind: the constant updates were good and handy), but this is not what newspapers should do, I think. I understand the threat that is the web to some paper based publications (the leftist paper Liberation, which is much like the Guardian, lost a shitload of readers due to their content being freely available online), but i dont think blogging will save them.

Leave blogging to bloggers or wikinews, because that's what they ARE. Newspapers should focus on giving relevant interviews/news reports and in depth comments and analysis. And of course - outside the 'comments' section- news should be as accurate and BBC-like as possible. This is what I expect from newspapers anyway.

If as a journalist you want to diverge from this stance, then you need to go all rock n roll like Andrew Sullivan, quit your job, and start your own blog. His blog is biased because it's Sullivan working for Sullian - and not the NYtimes anymore-, but that's the point - that's what blogs are about. In fact i also think lots of journos think it's way more rewarding to blog because it develops the relationship and exchanges between source/pairs/public way more than within the traditional 'top down/bottom up' perspective.

Might be wrong on this one, you tell me.

I dont know what the future of newspapers will be. What would you say? I fear not for the UK which is a nation known to be a papers-consumerist one (mainly tabloids, but whatever), but in France it's gonna get critical. Websites which people dont pay for + the ongoing rise of Metro and shit free press like that? I'd assume papers will get fucked soon if they don't find alternatives... Could this be blogs? Well people would surely look at it weirdly because by essence a blog can't really be controlled by editorial guidelines unless it's a community blog (metafilter has its own non-spoken guidlines which regular users know about...but users are not professional bloggers...).

It's just me and I'm naive as fuck but - I see newspapers being cut in two more and more if they want to survive - one side for 'facts' (bbc-like), one side for commentariat (and this could include blogging... Like, I can imagine Polly Toynbee or Timothy Garton Ash having their own blogs within the guardian website, but would it garantee free-speech in the traditional 'blog form' we currently think of when speaking about blogs?).

I heard that the Beeb's Political editor had a blog too... What's his name, Nick Robinson? Yes. See, I didn't know what to think of it. If you work for the BBC and have a blog, isn't it contradicotry? Wouldn't you think that the BBC provides you enough platform to speak your mind without him having to use the 'blog' medium?

My biggest problem is that I have great trouble thinking about papers and blogs as being 'one'. Because blogs' main interest is to promote independent media. When publishing companies are owned by NewsCorp (or Can West or Quebecor in Canada), then the independance goes right off the window. And therefore blogging doesn't make real sense anymore.

(...)

You burn like a bouncing cigarette+ Tony Pierce's wisedom

2006-01-29T07:57:00.000-08:00

First off. Never got around to reactivate my buzznet account. Done. Updated.

Do you know Jeff Buckley's song 'So Real'? No?

I always presumed it was about a dream Jeff had.

But I am only guessing.

I always thought it was about a dream that was so real that reality, illusion and stream of consciousness became one. One that felt so real that when he woke up, he felt his heart aching with sorrow because he could have sworn it had happened.

So he did what anyone would have done not to forget how real it felt, he put it into words.

Love, let me sleep tonight on your couch
And remember the smell of the fabric of your simple city dress
Oh... That was so real
We walked around 'til the moon got full like a plate
The wind blew an invocation
And I fell asleep at the gate...
And I never stepped on the cracks 'cause I thought I'd hurt my mother ...
And I couldn't awake from the nightmare
That sucked me in and pulled me under
Pulled me under
Oh... That was so real
I love you
But I'm afraid to love you

I had one of these dream last night. I woke up feeling strangely happy and liberated. It felt a bit like some kind of a rebirth, for lack of a better word. Seconds passed and I realised it was just a dream. The second I did, I went to pieces. It felt like a bad, cruel joke was being played on me.

My dream involved very graphic sex and whispered words. The setting was a beach, strangely - I don't know how to explain this one. There also was a book, an argument, and one silence that spoke more than words- Then one explanation, and of course it involved another person. The dream ended with those dead simple words: 'Are you alright?', me answering 'Yes, I am', curled up against the other person's body.

That was fucked. It pretty much ruined my day. I usually forget about dreams or nightmares right away. I try not to analyse them, gently pushing them away with a sigh and a smile.
But this one made me sink into some kind of reminisence I'd rather avoid. It was so real. And then you wake up and you're overwhelmed by sadness.

Fuck.

-----------------

Yesterday I was honoured to be able to interview the Blogfather, great rockn'n'roll Californian man Tony Pierce, for my memoire in sociology.

And everytime you lose faith in blogging, there's one thing you need to do. Listen to Tony Pierce. I don't even want to know if his enthusiasm is overplayed or not (I think he's genuine), what matters is this: Pierce makes you want to keep on writing even when you start to doubt your motivations.

I won't comment on the interview itself any more that I am allowed to, after all I need to analyse its content now... but I'll take the liberty to blog those few lines, because they're good.

Jessica: well i get the feeling that lots of people discredit blogging as writing because it's self published and not published through a recognised medium
Tony: those people should be killed
Jessica: Amen

Tony: those people are asswipes
Tony: those people vote for Bush
Jessica: like 'haha you blog? well IIII have been published by a newspaper' it makes me go like 'uh, so?'
Tony: emily dickinson and mark twain both self published
Jessica: yes
Tony: just because some idiot with a printing press puts your shit on paper doesnt make it good.

At the end blogging is just like journalism. Or novel writing. There are bad writers (Hi mom!), and bad journalists, and then there are groundbreaking, talented, adventurous ones - willing to get exposed, willing to take risks, willing to break boundaries. The publishing medium does not matter much, the only differences being :

- the mass media tools (newspapers, TV, websites) impose on the journalist/writer severe editorial restrictions and guidelines which do not exist in self publishing - unless the blogger is self editing/censoring.

- You're getting paid when being a journalist (but it can be argued that lots of bloggers are getting paid too, and mark my words, AdSense and co will be exploding is the next few years)

- You are more likely to have an impact on, say... social policy making if you're writing for the Guardian. Granted. And more readers, of course. But I'd be willing to bet this will change too - because journalism is shitscared of Le Internet, and shitscared of bloggers. But they won't tell you that, so they try to make friends-friends with them.

Of course I can't write any of this in my memoire or else I'll be accused of having a secret political agenda and being scientifically biased. So guess what - I am blogging it instead.

Never forget to be amused.

2006-01-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

I visited the site picturesofwalls.com today and to my surprise came across this picture. The site said it was spotted in Vancouver, Canada.

Last year after having lunch with Ian and B in Gastown, we decided to walk down towards Burrard Street (I think?) - and B spotted the very same drawing on the wall. He even took a picture of it with his cell phone.

The world is a very small place. And I wouldn't miss those (re) ocurrences & coincidences for the world.

"I think that my life would have been completely different had I gone to Decadent Donuts :)"

My neighbourhood

2006-01-28T08:27:00.000-08:00

All was well and magical until some punk hit me with a snowball.

In a nutshell.

2006-01-25T04:32:00.000-08:00

Je pense arreter de blogger pour des raisons strictement euh - scientifiques. Puis-je écrire un mémoire sur le sujet, et etre un sujet participant en meme temps?
Dun dun dun.
Rocking the Philosopher kings 'you dont love me like you used to do'. Great song.
No quiero ir en classe de ingles.
Alternatively,
I'm fucking done with writing a shoegazing blog.
Until next time/day,

Glamtastically yours,

Your french host.

.... 'And you're not allowed to quote me anymore, you fucker'
- Mark.

Electoral hangover (literally) + 'Utopia is boring' dixit Damien this morning.

2006-01-24T04:54:00.000-08:00

There are two ways to handle the electoral news that came our/Canada's way last night. But first, some quotes I read today:

'Haha! That's the funniest thing, and probably divine justice for a nation that found it only mildly amusing rather than downright offensive when the americans elected Bush for the SECOND time...' - Mark, always evil, bitter because his country is led by another equally retarded douchebad when it comes to international diplomacy.

'Let's give Harper 2 months before he'll start copping out with saying, "We're not the liberals. . . we're not the liberals." Basically is what platform he stood on throughout this electoral process.' - Marco A.

'Harper's speaking out of his ass already. "For those who did not vote for us. . ." -Stephen Harper on eating a bag of dicks.' - Marco A.

Last night's results confirmed me in my thoughts on party politics. Contrary to what some might say, it is unuseful (albeit crucial, and yes I do see the lack of logic in this) to wish to be handling policy making from a non partisan/ independent point of view. See my 'gloves are off' post. Parties don't do politics. They represent politics but from there it's all PR work.

Want to argue the great divide between 'left' and 'right wing' policies have become meaningless? Go tell it to Canadians who will have to put up with the Conservatives' future plans to privatize health care or outlaw pro-gay policies. They might tell you just the contrary. Go tell it to gay couples who had to take Stockwell Day's insults right in the face. Go tell it to Harper when he begins official talks with the USA when they start to consider invading a newly-nuclear country considered as a world threat.

Hopefully a minority government, well balanced with an energetic, viable opposition will limit the damages.

Another thing that surprised me is how down I felt this morning when I rushed to the computer to check the results. A little heartbreak. As Boris puts it, 'The myth has died'. After all Canada is not my country, I am not a citizen, I have no rights there. But for close to five years now Canada represented TGPH (The Great Political Hope) for me. It did not matter that I made fun of fellow Canadians for their over enthusiast patriotism and pride, because deep down, I understood why they felt this way. All this time hearing them brag about how they were proud to live in a peaceful country, a tolerant one - I envied them. They were part of a country which seemed to want to be socially better, ready to take a stand, always adventurous, somehow (but not enough) courageous.

I looked at Canada all this time thinking 'It's an example'. Its multiculturalism model is what made me want to live there in the first place. Not that it's perfect, not that it's not full of flaws, but at least Canada always kept on trying in a very progressive way. Not that they (the citizens) will stop now. But the mere thought of Harper greeting Bush in Ottawa in thew near future makes me vaguely nauseous.

But all overly dramatic speech aside - It could be worse.

See I look at Spain and i just know it works in waves and cycles. People learn. Fast. (Except in the States, obviously now).

Spain's past political scheme looks like what I predict will happen in Canada:

- Felipe Gonzales, Socialist, rules the leftist government for more than a decade. Did great work on educational issues, modernises Spain which badly needs it after Franco's dictatorship. Introduces Spain to the European Union. Great work on the health system.

- Follow numerous corruption scandals within his own party.

- Aznar, right wing, is elected. Fucks bad with Spain. Majorly fucks up on international issues and diplomacy. Backs up Bush and Blair and the war on Iraq. Terrorism hits Madrid (not that the two are strico-census linked). He keeps on fucking up.

- Spain says 'fuck off' to him, elects Zapatero, socialist/left wing. Spain immediatly withdraws its soldiers from Iraq. Passes law supporting gay marriage. Passes less hardcore than it used to be laws on immigration.

See a pattern?

It's a question of time vs. political balance. I bet it will do the same for Canada. Give Harper a couple of years to try to introduce hardcore reforms, give him a couple of years to befriend the US government. Canadians will be fed up soon enough, because they like to define themselves too much by the differences exisiting between them and 'the South'.

Plus, let's be fair, they did not vote for a proper political program on this one. What the vote truly was about was 'Let's punish the sponsorship scandal dudes' (which ought to be punished of course, but not via voting, for fuck's sake). Same happened in France for the EU referudum, where people ended voting 'against Chirac' instead of answering 'Do you approve the EU constitution?'.

All in all. We pretty much know what to expect from the Conservatives in Canada. Now arises a great opportunity for Canadians to show the world how they, community-wise and not government-wise, can make a difference. This thought makes me happy and hopeful, and makes me want to keep on wanting to move there instead of chosing a socialist country instead (not that there's many left these days.... But South America might really be the future, even more now).

Le sublime est dans le renoncement + CANADA! DON'T FAIL ME NOW.

2006-01-23T04:59:00.000-08:00

I am very sad to learn the West wing is being cancelled. It was a magnificent, finely written television show. In fact when I started watching it 4 years ago (thanks to Cam once again) I believe it's conforted me in my desire to be invovled in public and governmental affairs, one way or another. I loved the passion every character was putting into his job. I loved how they knew the game was impossible to win, but they were keeping on trying because deep down, they knew that if they could not change the world for the better - or worse- who could? I wanted to be like them. Make an educated difference. And now I'm about the graduate in a few months with a degree in Political Sciences. I still question my intelligence, but that's another issue.

I actually found this about the show, posted in 2003, on my old blog:

'I can't even say how much i enjoy this show. This show was first suggested to me by a politics major who happens to be one of the most idealist person i know. It reminds me why i chose to study politics in the first place. Because, I was raised like this: when something is wrong, i feel the urge to DISAGREE and TAKE A FUCKING STAND.'

I did sound pretty naive (and may still do so), but to this day I believe in every word I ever said on this one.

Yes, I have a serious tendency to sink in cynicism as a simple, automatic coping mechanism. But most importantly, and what few people realise: I still believe, with a fierce passion, that people, in their entirety, or just a handful of concerned citizens, can change the world. And I would not have spent hours upon hours in classes and/or debating politics with people I love if I did not believe in it. It's a dime light at the end of a fucked up political tunnel, and the Gen Y societal position i find myself in doesn't make it easy (End of the world! Terrorism! Aids! Climatic changes! On the rise Capitalism! Lower wages! Unemployment!), but there's hope out there. Because I believe in people, and I believe in evolution.

Cheesy remarks out of the way...

Canada, fucking please - and I have the feeling what's done is done already, but I refuse to give up hope until the last second- don't fail me now. Don't elect that douchebag. Please, just when you've been brilliant in the past 4 years on domestic and diplomatic issues (won't say a word about Haiti involvment or missiles talks, but let's just say you are better than the rest of us). Don't fuck this up.

Part of me wants to think it's a cycle. Having a solid conservative minority will act as a reality check for most canadians in the upcoming years. I believe Canada to naturally be a (societal) liberal country in its core values, so I am not as worried as I was for the US elections.

But Harper? I fear for international-relations related talks in the future.

I remember having a conversation about politics with someone in December 2004... We were walking down Davie Street in the cold towards the English Bay, discussing Bush going to Iraq. We disagreed on the need to set up a democracy there. He said it was necessary for the people. I said Democracy has to be earned by the people for its people and cannot be brought into place by force, or else it would not last in the long run.

Conversation ended with 'Whatever, I don't care about the Yankees. I'm proud to be Canadian. We're a good country'.

If what I fear actually happens, it's going to be a little less easy to be proud to be Canadian comes tuesday morning. Electoral hangover.

But even more motivating for citizens to create decent, good things and projects community wise.

As seen in the Vancouverite: Sun and Province endorse Harper. Haaaa CanWest, why am I not surprised?

"It Was Fear Of Myself That Made Me Odd"

2006-01-22T06:27:00.000-08:00

...And tomorrow starts my year's second, and final (ever?) semester.

Classes include:

- Human rights issues
- Sociology of journalism
- Sociology conferences
- Spanish
- 'Intellectuals and Truth' (in english)
- 'Metamorphoses of the world economy' (in english)
- English & civilisation
- 'Africa and africans'
- 'Beyond free trade' (in english)
- Journalism seminars

I don't know if seeing this listing makes me feel intelligent ('Ohhh! Generalist curriculum! Diversity! Eclectism!) or dumb ('Ohhh! None of these classes content I will remember in a few months!).

Also worrying: The fact that three of these courses start at 8 in the morning. Meaning I'll have to wake up at 6.50 three times a week and kick out my stupid (but making-me-extremely-prolific) sleep habits. I am taking bets as to right now: How many of these classes will I go to? Boris, what do you say? My bet is on... say....10.

-------------

I've been talking a fair bit about London with various persons for various reasons these days, and I dug up this post from Last summer.

"I met Aurelie at Old Street station around 10 o'clock. She is in London for two days, coming from Edinburgh with Amnesty International. It was great to see someone so familiar who knew me already (read: someone you don't have to explain your life for the very beginning. She has the basic about me and more, vice versa. I was relieved to be able to talk to a friend face-to-face).

In a way it was a little bit like going back home, somewhere safe, secure, not challenging. I don't usually appreciate 'home' per say, but I needed that.We could only chat for an hour - over Baileys, hidden in some very gloomy pub- and parted ways in front of the tube again.This damn fucking tube.We hugged hard like only women seem to know how to, breast againt breast, all smiles. Not this 'Oi you're my boy' kind of hug, but something deeper, emotional, silent, understanding.

I took the escalators and when reaching the platform I heard this guy singing. Turned round only to nice a dreadlocked man playing guitar with a real broken soulful voice.I stared.He was singing the worst lyrics ever.

'I wanted to take control but love took control of me - it's just another sad sad sad song - I have to let it go let it go'.

Somehow the whole thing was really sincere, and I was really moved. It made sense. I believed and understood him.The train arrived and I smiled at him. He winked and did a 'peace' sign. I waved back. Got on the train, sat down, and as we left the platform, he waved again still playing guitar. I smiled. Life was a bitch but this guy made it more than fucking cool for one minute."

------------

Oh how I miss London, for all the good and the bad stuff it brought me. And how I miss Vancouver too. If only you had any idea how much I cannot wait to get out this damn country and city, and live somewhere matching my hopes. Somewhere I feel like I have something to give to. Somewhere making me want to contribute. I believe that's the correct choice of words. It's more and more about being in a city where you can feel alive in. Intrigued, threatenned, challenged. Somewhere with potential, somewhere eerily strange and different from what you've been brought in. Like Mark, Laurent, Amélie and I talking around coffee about how 'Vancouver felt... clinical'. And 5 months after I almost wanted to stay there for my entire life.

Never ever gotten this feeling in France. Ever. Can't wait for June to come.

Can't wait, you have no idea.

Mark is coming to France to visit at the end of February. Can't wait. Amélie, you'll hang out with us?

jess - dit :
im gonna state that ure coming to france on my blog so it'll be official and if u dont it'll make u look like a cop out
all good naysayers speak up! or forever hold your peace dit :
i don't care what your blog thinks.....

Death row smoke getting to your face

2006-01-21T12:19:00.000-08:00

I fell in love with this cobra-snake'd guy. I think he's gorgeous.

- I was reading Pinder's blog and it dawned on me that being a true music hipster takes some class and some time. I usually get all my music tips from a couple of sources. Namely Pitchforkmedia and co (no jokes please, it hurts me enough to admit it), Les Inrocks, Metafilter sometimes, Rob, Nora's blog, Soulseek contacts, and suggestions from Mark, Cam, Chris aka Brit (hi!) and B. But reading through Pinder's blog you quickly realise he's way ahead of his time, as in he knew about the Arcade Fire approximatively 6 months before anyone did. My question is simple: How do they, the 'real' hipsters (and Rob might be included in this) go and look for suggestions? Unless you live in Williamsburgh (Nora does) or Brighton (Mark does), then what's the secret?

Do I have to, like, triple my nerve subscription and read gothamist everyday?

Shitty playlist for January 21st of 2006

- The Buzzcocks, Orgasm addict
- Raymi, Daddy means you
- Lewis Taylor, Bittersweet
- White rose movement, Love is a number
- The Kooks, Naive
- Morissey, I'm not sorry
- Whitey Houston, I got fucked by liberty mutual (Best thing to come out of Edmonton, as in, ever, because it sure as hell isn't the Westwhatever Mall).
- The Artic monkeys, I bet you look good on the dancefloor (Mark this one's for you <3)>Sade, No ordinary love
- Ani Difranco, I loved you so what
- Prince, Hot thing
- Dallas Green, Day old hate
- Maximo Park, The coast is always changing
- Moloko, The time is now
- Ryan Adams, Starlite dinner (Something about his voice on this one. Moves me. Deeply.)
- Spacek, Dollar (So glad to see him back).
- Bob Dylan, It's alright ma
- Rubin Steiner, Your life is like a Tony Conrade concert
- Kanye West, the good the bad the ugly

Gayest and most outdated playlist ever.

Yesterday Mark told me 'Ryan Adams is tired indie' and then went on a diatribe explainning how he hated categories. Go figure. Mark always had some biased hatred towards Adams anyways, ever since he destroyed my cd in purpose. I am still not over it, and it's been a year.

Hipsters always hate to be recognized as such. The ones who do, like Philogymist and his post today, know where it's at.

ps. This Guardian Interview with 50 cents made me want to hang myself.

'This much we already know. When, during a live telethon after Hurricane Katrina, Kanye West blurted out: "George Bush doesn't care about black people," the president found an unexpected ally in 50 Cent, who opined: "The New Orleans disaster was meant to happen. It was an act of God. I think people responded to it the best way they can."

Oh, SERIOUSLYYYYYY????

ps. Rename my blog 'Biggest display of Ryan Adams pictures ever' and go fuck right off.

ps3. Pretend you did not read it.

San Fran has only one drawback - 'tis hard to leave dit :
its fun to talk about brazilians. its bonding. kinda like when guys talk about going poopie
San Fran has only one drawback - 'tis hard to leave dit :
and you can blog that one!
San Fran has only one drawback - 'tis hard to leave dit :
hahaha
jess - Matt's EMOSEXUAL dit :
i know, i was thinking 'this is the kind of stuff you talk with girlfriends when you start to really be friends'
jess - Matt's EMOSEXUAL dit :
don't dare me cos i will!
San Fran has only one drawback - 'tis hard to leave dit :
HA
jess - Matt's EMOSEXUAL dit :
i'll leave out the part about me naked and the mirror....
San Fran has only one drawback - 'tis hard to leave dit :
makes sense to me
San Fran has only one drawback - 'tis hard to leave dit :
although if it were me, i'd keep it in
jess - Matt's EMOSEXUAL dit :
I'm gonna edit my entry and blog it now because it's classic and girls will recognize themselves in it
San Fran has only one drawback - 'tis hard to leave dit :
and i'd title it... what men dont realize

Matt's EMOSEXUAL!

2006-01-21T04:10:00.000-08:00

I was talking to Matt yesterday and came up with the greatest word ever, 'Emosexual', and was totally ready to patent it some way or another. But then I googled it and found out I am not the only witty genius I thought I was. Clicking around and I stumbled upon this band and I do not even want to hear what they play, no really, thank you, but props for writing a song titled 'The only gay soldier in Iraq'... I guess.

I think Madeleine already blogged about this topic, but one of the greatest invention when it comes to blogging is trackback and sitemeter accounts. Thanks to that I know I have x readers a day, and I know how they found my page. Sometimes the google search is creepy. To be quite honest, If I was REALLY tempted to go into law enforcment, I'd send agencies the IP adresses of people finding my site by googling highly explicit and illegal words combination, but I like google more than policing agencies, especially when they take a stand like they did yesterday.

But because this comment has a point: I have readers in small BC towns like Vallican and Squamish (but I know who's in squamish...) and they read me everyday and I just want to say, hi, who are you?

In other news - I seriously underestimated what of a work of art is was to write a resume. Took me two hours to update it in english yesterday. But now - back to selling high end clothes to posh clients.

I can't believe I'm working 9 hours on a saturday.

Daft punk is playing at my house, my house.

Mark, you massive... call me :)

I am young and I am lost, every sentence has its cost.

2006-01-20T05:59:00.000-08:00

- Mohammed and I were emailing back and forth today and suddenly he said:

'There is a whale in Thames right now. hones. they are showing it on tele'.

'you're kidding me, a whale, wtf?'

'yes. i am watching it on tv right now. 17 feet long. swimming near the Parliament'.

That's just about the coolest thing I've seen this week.

But then M said '(...) this whale now, caught in muddy waters, surrounded by spectators and as the tv anchor is saying almost certain to die. Suffocated by ironies. ' and it made me want to cry. Poor whale. Then he said I did not care about the whale. Which I do. So we argued.

- I took out two of my piercings. I felt I had enough of them. One of them I got in Montreal last Spring, the other one in Rennes 3 years ago. Each piercing I ever gotten represents a moment of my life which I wanted to celebrate or bury. The one I got in Montreal represented the end of a seriously good period of my life. And a new beginning (um really it was like, the beginning of the end, but oh well. London was worth calling it a new beginning).

The one I got in Saskatoon when I was, oh, 17, was to celebrate me finally being in Canada. Everytime I look at it I remember how happy I was to be so far away from every and anything I had ever known. It felt like cheap freedom, but it made me feel liberated.

(/cue to Maximo Park 'I am young and I am lost/ So it saddens me to say/ I am only happy when I move away' song). La, la laaaaaaaaa.

So I only have two left. One I got in Vancouver, which I will always link to good memories (Amélie laughing at me for not being able to speak, me at Denny's eating like a starving woman, knowing I wouldn't be able to eat anything for a week afterwards, me eating ice cream with someone on a sunday afternoon in Kits because it was the only thing helping the pain, me sucking in tea-ice cubes and my flatmate laughing at me), and the Saskatoon one.

Everything comes and goes but some stuff stays and comes back, always. My mother always says 'Be sure to put yourself in context generating good memories when you're young, because joyful memories are the only thing you have once you get old. They keep you alive and they keep you smiling'.

Well... Nevermind that it's the single most depressing thing she ever said to me, I think part of it is true. Piercings are part of those memories.

- I finally know what party B. is going to vote for... And that also reminded me I'm a hippy-hater and would never, ever vote Green for presidentials, but I have a voting-secret:

B:
'So green it is. Do I believe whole-heartedly that the vision they have for Canada is mine? Mostly - I think we need to put the environment and social programs first, that we need to set our priorities right about business and crime, and that even if these things are unrealistic in the near sense of the future, they are the ideals I can't see myself compromising on. Refute, Rebute, Recycle! '

(Do as I say and pretend to ignore the last sentence, which is really hilarious and so 70s).

Me:
Fucking hippy!No seriously - i do get it, the need to vote according to what one truly believes in. It is democracy in its truest form. Alas, politics are not about expressing your ideals, but gaining power. In this -albeit pessimistic, machiavelic- perspective, I couldn't bring myself to vote for the green party, was i canadian. same for french elections - always voted socialist...come to think of it,fuck me, i voted green for the local elections 2 years ago..HA!

Yes I voted green two years ago. And I'd do it again for local elections. I'D DO IT AGAIN!!! Only for local ones though - because who the fuck are we kidding, would I want to see my country ran by hippies? Lemme think about it for a second - no. I would not trust them with international issues/crisis and diplomacy, would not trust them with enterprises, would not trust them on economy and business regulations. I'd trust them on social issues, but that's about it. Would I want Greens to handle diplomatic at the UN and other supranational instances? I don't think so. Do they have good ideas? Yes. But you only go so far with decent ideas in politics. In fact, nowhere.

Today a phone call from an editor woke me up at 10.30 in the morning. Lame. I answered and had to make up a lie about not knowing his publication -just to get him to interview me next week because I wasn't prepared to shine.

Lunch-Break-Blogging.

2006-01-19T06:08:00.000-08:00

- Ryan Adams at the Grammies: Best picture ever, or what?

- Reason why I can't wait to pose with Matt, come back to London already, dear:

(Jess says :
like what do u mean, i look like a retard?)
matt says :
like most pretty girls are like, "OH MY GOSH I GOT DRUNK OFF OF TWO CORONAS AND NOW IM STAYING AT MY FRIENDS LOL"

- I know pretty much everything on CNN money is bollocks, but this article about GenXers and their relationship with companies is really interesting. Especially encouraging imho, the fact that employeers apparently do not care about a salary but tend to want to be challenged and keep on learning years after years.

'"Gen Xers are suspicious of hierarchies. Rank and seniority mean nothing to them. They want to participate as equals."

I also love the fact that good companies work within an egalitarian perspective. That's everyday democracy, or the future's business if I was ask. Yes, I am not blind and see why companies do it: employeers thinking they have a say in the enterprise's decisions are employeers who are likely to want to work harder (especially when they own stock market options, it's all benefit). It may to some seem like well managed brainwashing, I see it as a way for citizens and workers to learn how to get invovled, if only locally. (Faith, we talked about it not too long ago, remember?).

It only kills me that I see a reversing trend within GenYers and the way they consider their jobs.

- Our paper magazine about Gender is taking off in ways I did not imagine. Very encouraging. My co-editors are torn when it comes to making the publication not free, but available for one euro or less. For some specific reasons: we want as much people as possible to be reading our articles in town. But we disagree with the fact that all newspapers should be free, à la Metro. But... we are a magazine, which is different. We could use the funds to be honest, but it would also mean having to find partnerships with book shops willing to sell our work. I'm afraid we don't have enough time to do that. Either way we'll be interviewed soon about our initative so, uh, better prepare it.

Consider: Advertising in our magazine? Editor # 1 says 'No fucking way, ever'. Editor # 2 says, 'We should'. I am caught in the middle seeing both perspectives as interesting ones. Also, we are editors/journos on this one, not Marketing or PR professionals (in fact, we suck at it).

- This has to be written down: Mark CALLED ME yesterday for like, oh, the second time of his life. And we talked for a good 40 MINUTES! And of course we insulted each other and he won, but get this: He is, as he put it so well, my bitch for actually getting out his cold house to go and find an international phone card in Brighton just to talk to me, awwww. I think it has to do with the fact that I had called him beforehand and said 'I'll never talk to you again if you don't phone me soon'. I honestly can't write here what we talked about because 1. that's not PC at all, and 2. it makes us look more stupid than we already are. And not cool. But as Mark says 'Since when do I care about looking cool?'. (answer: since you started dressing 'differently', i.e not grunge kurt cobainish I-Found-This-Shirt-On-the-Floor-of-my-house-this-morning-and-it's-not-mine').

- Canadian presidentials: I heard a good analysis last day, which goes like: NDP knows they're not going this time not be an oppsition party but Layton lashes out on Martin and not Harper this time because he wants the Liberals to have as little credibility as possible in order to have people vote NDP and start building a strong opposition which might become the next official one in a few years. Layton's not playing for these elections, he's merely placing his positions and establishing a strong basis of voters for 229 something. Check mate. Clever? I think so.

- Anyone in town this week end going to a gig? I'll be by myself all week end, so any ideas? - Still have to look into Rob's fake DJ battle contest thing this weekend.

- Major news: I'm gonna interview Tony Pierce for my memoire, and I am nervous about it because he's the blogfather. Need to work on intelligent questions.

Best/Worst Ian picture ever + I love the way your hair smell.

2006-01-18T05:32:00.000-08:00

If you are wondering why I don't mention Ian anymore, it's because Ianbabycakes is in Thailand for three months, playing it survivor style in the jungle.

I kid you not.

Ian, I miss you. Mads misses you too. But we hope and know you have fun over there. Come back, you dirty hippy. We need to plan long sessions of intense arguing, 'booyah' saying, bad guitar playing and french talking for next year!

Either way, will you vote for the upcoming elections, since you're not in Canada?

----------------

I fell in love with a fragrance/perfume not too long ago. I never have 'love at first sight' crushes for fragrances, usually I end up loving them only because they remind me of someone, or something. Vanilla will make me think, for as long as I live, about a certain someone. As a pure anectode, I learned to deeply love the scents of a specific Axe deodorant not so long ago, when really I usually dislike men deodorants. They are too 'in your face' and not subtle enough. But once you associate a person with a smell, everything changes, and soon enough you find yourself smiling at the thoughts of memories brought back by scents. Times spent hugging friends, noticing their perfumes, or times spent in bed with a lover whose hair smelled like joy and happiness.

It's funny because I remember discussing this very topic with Bry last spring... We were discussing Ian's short story, where he reminicises about previous girlfriends. I was making fun of Ian's use of the line '... I will never forget how her hair smelled like strawberry', pointing out how much it was cliché. Bry disagreed, telling me about an ex girlfriend of his, and how he would never forget the smell of her shampoo. I think there was a story including him accidentally using his sister's, being struck by waves of memories as he realised it was the very same shampoo his ex-lover was using. But maybe I am making this up - correct me if I am wrong, Bry. I remember being slightly touched by the idea of a man being moved by simple memories and flashbacks like these.

Last week I had to ask someone about her perfume. As soon as I smelled it, it violently brought me back to my childhood. It reminded me of lost places and even if I could not identify it precisely, the smell made me feel happy and safe. The perfume is made by L'Artisan Parfumeur, and created out of Blackberry, wood and musc scents; and it is subtle, sweet but strong, with lots of personality. It is not obscene, arrogant and headache-inducing, unlike many fragrance on the market today. It's just delicious, by then again it's just me. And as you can see on the website, for the price I paid it, it might as well be fantastic and breathtaking. I spent a week playing with the idea of buying it: I consider perfumes to be useless caprices, and expensive ones at that. It is frivolous and shallow to spend money on perfumed water. But sincerely, this one makes me happy. At home. It's magical. Mark this as the very moment I realise perfume-making was Art.

As I was standing in the boutique to buy it, the shop assistant began chatting with me. She was a 50 something blonde woman with a warm smile, extravagant clothes and bourgeois manners. I told her I was looking for 'Mure et Musc', because it reminded me of happy childhood memories I could not identify. So we discussed the mysterious links between smells and moments. (Funnily enough, I talked about the almost sane thing with Rob not long ago, and out capacity to link moments of our lives with songs).

The woman told me about a movie she went to see when she was still a teenager. It was a Russian movie called 'Quand passent les cigognes' made by Mikaïl Kalatozov.

' I remember seeing this movie and feeling so sad at the end. It was the story of a young woman, dressed in black - just like you today, miss!- throughout the movie. The woman is waiting for her lover, who's a soldier, to be back from the war. The last scene shows her at the train station, dressed entirely in white for the first time, holding a bouquet of white flowers, waiting for her man to get off the train. But he's dead, and she keeps on waiting there, on the platform, by herself'.

As she tells me this she has tears in her eyes.

'When I saw it my best friend handed me this tissue with her perfume on it... Everytime I smell it on other people now, I can't help but to think about this movie. I'm sorry, I get emotional everytime I talk about it!'

And there I was in the shop, holding my new perfume, listenning to a total stranger's secret, something so deeply personal, smiling but not knowing what to say to that.

Scents truly have a meaning, and I found the right perfume. The one I want people I love to love. Thinking about me, hopefully smiling, if they smell it somewhere else in the future.

ps. Score! - As I walked into a room this afternoon with my new perfume on, two men turned around and asked : 'wow, what's your perfume?'.

OMG PALMER NO (edited).

2006-01-17T05:41:00.000-08:00

Today:

- I can't stop thinking about Brokeback Moutain. Haunting.

- Rob RUINED my lunch time break by blogging about David Palmer getting killed. Couldn't you use the words MAJOR SPOILER, serioussssly? So mad :-<

- I am working eight hours for 64 euros. Like I told M. yesterday, this is truly an insult to my intelligence if my intelligence was on the market.

- I am tired of people bitching and whinning about the Canadian presidentials. All I hear is 'But all party leaders spend their time trashing one another and there's no real debate!'. Uh, no kidding, welcome to the world of party politics, aren't you used to how it works by now? Didn't you realise beforeheand it's all about strategies based around notions like "trust" and "exposing (so called) lies or failures"? What do you think the democrats will do if they want to convince US people to vote for them by 2008?

Admire the PR people's work instead, read Machiavelli (see last point), and if you truly think there's no real debate, inform yourself by visiting their websites, for a start, and think about their major reform suggestions long and hard. Oh and also, read their programs, why don'tcha. I am not saying it's the way it should be, but we get the politicians we deserve. So STFU already and get involved locally, lobby for electoral reforms, and think 'community politics'. Contact your local politicians and harass them about non national issues - or national ones, since they also represent the State and should forward petitions and innovative ideas. I am thinking there is no such thing as voters apathy at the end of the day, but citizen-centered laziness.

- A letter sent to the Guardian spotted on their Friday 13 issue:

'Julian Baggini (Blair's Philosophy, G2, January) did not the include philosopher who has had the greatest influence on Tony Blair - Machiavelli'.

Ha, ha.... ha!

- According to this test, I'd vote:

1. Jack Layton Leader of the New Democratic Party of Canada (100%)

2. Gilles Duceppe Leader of the Bloc Quebecois (72%)

3. Paul Martin Leader of Liberal Party of Canada, Prime Minister of Canada (55%)

4. Stephen Harper Leader of the Conservative Party of Canada (16%)

Oh, really, good job Sherlock. And the test lacks depth and analysis, it's a bit like politics for dummies', but interesting nonetheless.

ps. I said 'somehow agree' on the Bloc's idea to have a Quebec-only hockey team even if I DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT HOCKEY! REPRESENT, yo. I only think the symbolic is interesting, plus I'd like to see if the Quebec team would miserably fail or not without their canadian counterparts.

I also said strongly agree about the electoral reform.
Strongly agree about Kyoto but then again, you're a moron if you disagree.
Strongly support proportional representation.
Somewhat oppose mandatory minimum sentences.
Strongly support a federal ban on private for-profit provincial health clinics.
Somewhat support reducing GST.

I love how people compare these elections to the whole Nader vs Gore/Dean vs Bush fiasco, saying 'Do not vote NDP, it's like shooting yourself in the foot', when really in terms of riding it doesn't make any difference if the riding is (/political vernacular) 'safe'. So it comes down to: get informed locally, then vote for something national.
But that's just me, non-Canadian observer...

'I wish I knew how to quit you' - 'If you can't bare it, Jack, then you gotta stand it'.

2006-01-16T15:31:00.000-08:00

BrokeBack Moutain.

Short version: I am speechless.

Long version: Fantastic. Must see. Free of any clichés. Full of poetry, and no I did not say that to make it sound gay. A really subtle, moving movie which makes you think 'I sure hope to go I will not, or have not, missed my own best chance'.

Trivia - I exclaimed right in the middle of the movie, 'Well seriously, Heather Ledger (picture) looks like [my ex boyfriend]'. And Boris said 'Yeah, but your ex-boyfriend was better looking!'. I went all 'WTF? It's Heath Ledger, he's a movie star, he ought to be better looking. You so had a sexual crush on my ex!' and Boris laughed it out. But the likeness was creepy.

Either way I do not need to write further more about Jake Gylenhaal's performance which was brilliant. He is more than promising and has been ever since Donnie Darko. But Ledger was even better, sinve we had to compose a rold and a character out of nothing but a few words, body language and hands gesture. And we totally bought it. He was speaking through his long silences. That's truly an accomplishment.

I do not know if it's an emerging trend, but I keep on seeing movies about men and the way they cope with different range of emotions - and how they find themselves trapped when fronting difficult spiritual issues. Trapped you say? Indeed, because of their very own upbringing in a strict 'men will be men' patriarchal society. I also do not know if I should be happy about it (Finally! Male identity crisis!) or feel sorry for the next generation.

But 'The three Burials of Melquialdes' was a lot like this but in a different register (grief). So was Wendes' 'Don't come knocking'. They all explore the male psychés in various ways, which truly is remarkable. And refreshing for female viewers... even if in this very case, it was also 'the sexual minority psyché', but I refuse to separate the two entities.

When the character named Jake Twist (Gylenhaal's) uttered the words 'Tell you what... truth is, sometimes I miss you so bad I can hardly stand it...', Aurelie started to cry, and Boris and I were courageously holding our tears back.

El Pubelo nunca sera vencido...

2006-01-16T03:08:00.000-08:00

Let me just say I am euphoric. Michelle Bachelet has been elected Chile's first female president (bbc link) last night. Oh, and she is center left.

"She has said she is keen to bridge the gap between rich and poor and to give a greater voice to women and indigenous people. And, our correspondent says, more women are expected to be appointed to public office. "

Well. Goog fucking job, Bachelet.

While talking to Michael and his analysis of south american politics (he spent last year studying in Santiago, Chile), I got the impression that she was indeed representing a nouvelle vague of hope for millions of people over there. And she's apparently a really good orator.

Ever since I started studying the politics of south American countries in my 2nd year of University, I started to feel a great wave of hope as far as a golbal shift is concerned. The presidential campaigns and victories of Lula, Chavez, Morales and now Bachelet were really encouraging. Everyone gathering to create subgroups of social movements, protect their lives and rights and refuse the ongoing privatization of the electricity, gas or water sectors.

Sure, a lot of things need to be work on. Sure guerrileras need to be dealt with. The FARCs needs to be heard and/or stop terrorist actions. The ALENA contract should be seriously reassessed and/or erased from the face of the earth. Natives in countries like Mexico should earn more rights. Ingrid Betancourt, in an ideal world, should be set free (and with her the hundreds of innocent political prisoners held captive). You get my drift.

But at least I get the sense (and I may be wrong, since I don't know much about it and never visited any South American countries) that there is mobilisation and action going on over there. People react. They have something revolutionnary in their blood, something European people lost along the way, too many years ago.

They're alive.

I wanna show you how I handle business. (c) DFA 1979 + Money vs. MA applications

2006-01-15T06:16:00.000-08:00

Aurelie really doesn't care about the super discussion going on.

'No dude, Hawaii was better than Chili!'
Boris: "Do us a favour and get a new haircut". (He did, and we pose)
Michael. 'The University I went to in Santiago? Shit man, so much going on there in terms of academic guerilleras, students vs. police, someone has to write a thesis about it'.
Lady Lema knocks dem all down. Big up.

Money in the air, aka how to become poor just by sending applications for Masters:

- Concordia applications (x2) : 100 $

- SFU application : 75 $

- Sending applications overseas: 25 $

- TOEFL test: 130 euros

- Transportation to TOEFL test center: 20 euros

- Copies & application papers and misc: 30 euros + what I forgot.

Rough estimate: 400 euros ( *cough* A round way Paris-NYC trip).

So basically I'm working part time this week just to pay for applications, which I know for sure will only be sent back to me in April with a 'Sorry, but due to the high number of applications [blah blah blah]'.

Consider: Find a job (as in real job) in Canada instead. But what, where, who would hire a french graduate from a Poli Sci/Interdisciplinary program?

Consider: Another internship?

Consider: Will probably land another Mcjob in Montreal/Vancouver instead.

Consider: Need to be more of a go-getter and self assured/cocky when it comes to both my academic qualifications and working skills. In other words: Become American and think positive.

"Communism is a great idea on paper. On paper."

2006-01-13T04:24:00.000-08:00

Edit: Proof that everyone at the think tank I interned for is either out of their mind, smoking crack, or geniuses. Love them. Guardian article, thanks Mohammed!

Excuse me while I go writing my final exam about the History of China. Joy! It is definitely the most free style copy writing I'll ever do because how ridiculous is it to have to learn the ENTIRE history of China since - 200 BC, coupled with its politics? I'm not majoring in Chinese Studies, Thank you.
On the other hand, the thought that Mao Zedong is reponsible for the death of 20 to 30 millions of people while attempting to organise a communist state of cooperatives in 1958-60 is, well, humbling in a bad way. I saw the irony when I read this Mao quote yesterday : 'The basis of theory is practice'. Well, dude....yeah.

- Hi, Can I talk to James Frey please? From the Institution of 'Maybe writers are big liars, omg'.

Today, Rob totally discovered a secret truth about Jessica, I quote:

'For a French Girl you sure do hate the French! ;)'

It's the little victories that count. TRUST ME. Plus: Edit on James Frey's book, or as his tattoo says: FTBSITTTD, yo!!!

2006-01-12T03:21:00.000-08:00

Added rock n roll points for me?

[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] STFU already with your 'points'
[ ] For Mark whose judgment I trust - he is the co founder of the RnR Points Institution.

- Quoted Asian Dub Foundation in my International Migrations exam copy. (From Th9, 'Cos we are second generation, but not second class').

- Managed to quote a badass french Hip hop band in said copy (old school song about the ongoing malaise of being stuck in between two cultures and two spaces which are not recognizing one another).

- Managed to quote Bullworth and quote extensively Warren Beatty in my 'Analysis of Media' copy, written in english.

- Managed to begin said paper with the quote by Rage Against the Machine: 'Fist in the air in the land of Hypocrisy'.

- Managed to quote Letterman flaming O'Reilly in said University exam copy, writing the words 'I believe 60 percent of what you say is crap'. And writing the word 'crap' in a copy feels good.

- Managed to make references to Good night and good Luck, effectively turning my academic work and analysis into pop culture commentary.

- Began my copy on Social movements with the quote 'Carry yourself as someone who will change the world, because you will'. Idealism, hello!

- Having my Favourite teacher (nicknamed 'God') tell us our magazine on gender kicked ass, and that we should absolutely keep on with our work...

- ... Said magazine we sent to every government officials responsible of the commission for gender equity, having them reply 'great initiative, yo'.

If you ask me, putting pop references in the most serious sociology and International relations papers is definitely what makes University worthwhile. Taking liberties with the establishment (and sometimes being punished for it) is cool. Period.

Really this is what a Friend of mine and I do because we are so fed up with going to a top posh ridiculous University where nobody knows who "Kanye West" is ( Okay, Manu does too, but the rest of the are all 'Kanye what?'), but if you say 'Right leaning movements in the catholic church', lots of people can pull a 40 pages dissertation on the topic out of their **** in 10 mns.

So, this is Art-Academic terrorism. Putting random hip hop quotes and pop references in copies ,but in such a dead serious way that teachers actually have to nod and agree.

Great exercise in mass manipulation, yo.

--------------

About James Frey's book Million little pieces and its controversy:

Look I am not gonna lie, I liked the book. It was effective, for lack of a better word. What if Frey lied? It's a fucking book. A novel. Who cares? I liked it only because the prose was, again, effective.

BUT: I am allowed to 'retourner ma veste' or change my mind, and I will say this. We have enough books like that, Post Gen X literature, 'Look at me and my life, so hard, but I survived, ohlalala'. Listen up. We don't want to hear about your addictions. We don't want to pay for it, because most of the times those books are just bad. Why don't we want to pay for it? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR. SO JAMES FREY, GO CREATE A BLOG AND LEAVE THE BOOK WORLD ALONE. Plus, you'll be entitled to lie all you want and your publisher won't sue you, because your publisher is you.

OKAY THANK YOU.

ps. Bret Easton Ellis is better than you, Frey. Cos at least he did post modern survival stories first.

Also Ps: Someone at Metafilter said something that is quite very true and i GUESS it explains why it matters that Fray lied, yes - I will admit he's got a serious point here:

'And that faux truth was all he had. Anyone who's worked in publishing has read (or skimmed) countless BDT novels, many of them better written than Frey managed. As fiction, his manuscript went nowhere. Repackaged as a memoir, it sold.'

Ps 2: Haha awwww shit, this is the best comment ever posted on Mefi:

'At this point, I think showing up drunk on Larry King would be the best career move.

"SEE ! I TOLD YOU I WAS F*CKED UP!"'

Ps 3: Somewhere, someone called Frey is regretting his tattoo (It says 'Fuck this shit it's time to throw down'...errrr okay?).

ps4 : Neal Pollack, the most hilarious writer ever (and TRULY fucked up guy, just read 'Nevermind the Pollacks'), kills Frey with this commentary and I am LAUGHING. "YOU'RE GONNA FREY! Suck my cock tattoo that says suck my cock, James Frey, you whore."

ps5. Go check out Rob's mix on his blog, and fucking lose it dancing alone in your bedroom. TRUST ME. Rob, baby, you're the ruler of the DJ sets on this one <3

Best movie of 2006 so far...

2006-01-11T13:20:00.000-08:00

Jarhead.

Fucking incredible. Blew my mind.

Of course now I can't wait to see Brokevack Moutain next week, and of course Jake Gyllenhaal is my new favourite actor, but wasn't he already with his performance in Donnie Darko? The great surprise came from Peter Sasrgaard, which was excellent in Garden State, but had an even more outstanding role in one of my favourite secret nobody-saw-it movie called The Center of the world (2001), directed by Wayne Yang and half written by God - errr Paul Auster.

The man belongs to this type of men/actors who have so much charisma that I'd imagine they would enter a crowded room silently and everyone would turn back saying 'Now, who's that guy?'. Very rare, this.

Cramming for exams = anger and fury + Well, I'd really vote NDP.

2006-01-10T08:06:00.000-08:00

I am in the middle of cramming for my International migrations exams and caught between Guardian articles, think tank reports & memos, WTO remarks and official governmental shitty policy-making regarding asylum rights.

Fuck me, I have never seen such a retarded bunch of nations as the Europe ones when it comes to immigration. Yes I DO know we have a really complicated history - more specifically a colonial one- which makes it difficult at best to understand the links and relationships between european countries and immigrant countries (even if I would summarise this as : EU countries fucked everyone and created disastrous political and economical contexts pretty much everywhere), but let's face it, European and nordic countries, and their gvts, are a bunch of racist bastards. And let's face it: Canada may be full of flaws but they still RULE compared to countries like France and Germany or Norway.

Consider these quotes:

"When asked, more than half of Europeans point to migration as the cause of domestic problems and a threat to their jobs and wage levels. A similar proportion assume that migrants rely more heavily than existing citizens on welfare payments and therefore exploit social security systems."

And this one:

"Since 1975, Norway has operated a virtually ‘zero quota’ of work permits for persons from outside the Nordic area. Exceptions are made for a small number of outside experts, employees of the oil industry and foreigners already granted residence as refugees or for other reasons."

Like seriously, Norway what the fuck? Are you so good that you fear for your national identity should you have a bit more of an open door policy going on?

It is especially interesting to read such facts knowing that most migrations take place within developping countries, meaning it's often the poorest countries which will welcome refugees (countries like India and Iran and Sudan and Zambia and WE ARE COMPLAINNING???) , when European countries will now most often refuse asylum-related protection to immigrants and refugees, pretending they can't deal with it because

1. there might be false claims (yeah right, fuckers) or

2. Because the State is not guilty of persecutions and violated rights (it might be violent acts coming from racial or ethnics groups, civial wars, etc) , asylum can not be granted.

Well hear me out. FUCK YOU. And Norway gvt officials? SCREW YOU TOO.

What a bunch of fucking hypocrites EU countries are. We asked them for workforce and used just about everyone we could use in the 60s and then we decide to stop our open door policy because it's 1973 and we had colonies and then we complain?

You know what else is annoying me? This kick that english institutions seem to be on about, trying to bring people to define 'Englishness', like this recent project called ICON launched by the Department of Culture, Media and Sports.

Likewise, the recent speech of Chirac trying to convince people to be more into 'patriotism' and to be proud to be french. Like what the fuck again? Are we trying to establish that we should be proud to be [whatever nationality] over [whatever nationality] because we [drink tea like motherfuckers and listen to brit pop] or [won a football cup in 98 and had a revolution in 1789] ?

Why do we need to hold onto what we think is 'Englishness'? To try to 'integrate' people? Give us common cultural references and a common set of values? Can't it be done via a truly multiculturalist model, and not an pro-integration and or assimilation one? Can't 'englishness' be defined by its mix of influences, and frenchness defined by, let's say, typical french food if you will but also North african food because that's we ultimately are today?

Don't get me wrong - I think it is important to recognise european cultures in an historical perspective, with its traditions and languages, but putting an emphasis on 'englishness' and notions such as 'patriotic pride'? Hey guess what I'm english and I DON'T DRINK TEA, and yes some canadians don't like Hockey and some french people don't drink wine, so stop playing with clichés already, we are more complex individuals than that.

This whole thing is as stupid (in a reversed way) as Canadians saying they're proud to be Canadians just because 'they're not Yankees' and nothing else.

ARGHHH.

Canadian elections:

After reading the debate transcript, and only based on it, I think I'd vote NDP. Well Bloc if I was in Quebec. And if I was Canadian. Oh well.

That said:

Jack Layton: "Well, I'm hoping that we will hear a response from Mr. Martin because I do believe that you need to tell us whether you believe in the concept of ministerial responsibility. It's an important parliamentary concept fundamental to our democracy, and I hope that during the discussion this evening, we'll be able to hear whether (a), you believe in the concept, and (b), if you do, why you wouldn't ask a minister to step aside while an investigation is under way."

Err... Booyah.

2006-01-09T02:47:00.000-08:00

I won't update much this week due to exams. (Today: Sociology of social movements. I suspect my paper will sound like underground socialist propaganda, even if I will try to be intelligent enough so as not to write every two paragrapahs something like : Go adbusters cultural jamming! But then again, I also suspect my teacher to be slightly left leaning).

In the meantime, this is the best canadian musical news I received this week.

And get lost if you disagree or feel the need to laugh at my tastes. I will forever be grateful to Cam for introducing me to their music, some four years ago (already?). I bought their live cd back when I visited Edmonton in 2002, and I could not stop listenning to it for hours on end. It's one of the best live I ever heard in terms of 'modern soul music with real instruments', and goddamnit you can feel Eaton's charisma through the cd. His voice is bloody incredible. Now all you can do is try to forget he produced Nelly Furtado (even if I secretly think she's cool, but stfu), and enjoy. Oh and this song he did with Esthero, 'run for your life'? I loved it.

Can.not.wait. for.the.new.release.

Also: Someone was recently kind enough to send me Hawklsey Workman's cover of Joy Division's Love will tear us apart. It's genius. Mainly because he turned it into a complete different song, which is rare and most welcome. The guitar solo part has some Prince-genius to it.

Overwhelmed by Love

2006-01-05T12:43:00.000-08:00

I was raised by women. Womyn. Womon. What have you.

There always was a majority of women surrounding me as I grew up. Strong ones. Courageous ones. Single ones, married ones, divorced ones. I can safely say most of them have been role models, in spite of everything classified as 'hurtful' which happens in every families. My mother, grandmother, my cousin, my aunt, some of my high school teachers, my dance teachers, my friends Aurélie, Amélie, Maud, Faith, even new virtual friends like Mads.
Some of them were part of the first wave feminist movement, some of them are belonging to the second wave, some are apolitical, some are activists.

All of them are inspiring in their own personal, unique ways. All of them are role models. All of them impress me and encourage me.

I never had a male father figure to look up to, except for my grandfather who was a great man. My father was absent and I think it's relatively safe to say he's a stranger. While I deeply regret it, and while I am clear minded enough to clearly see it led to major breakdowns and serious incapacity to understand the male psyché at times, I don't feel sorry or bad one second to have been brought up like I was, by women.

It gave me freedom, passion, and the audacity to stand up for myself and not through someone else's accomplishments. It turned me into a powerful human beings, albeit with its inherent flaws and prejudices which I am always, always trying to work on. It is hard to try to become a better person day after day, but it is what I long for. It is complicated, and a lot of internal work has yet to be done when it comes to learning how to react to men's ways. Learning how to adjust to a partiarchal and heteronormative society, learning to take the good and the bad, is quite a ride. But I believe it to be worth it in the long run. So I keep on trying.

During my teenage years up until now my mother always invited me to dinners or gathering she was having with her friends. Because my mother is quite remarkably young in her head (her spirit is more rock n roll than most our age, and I blame the fact that she travelled an awful lots in her life for that), her friends range from 25 years old young teachers to 55 years old university professors, from muslims and catholic women to hardcore atheists. For years and years I would sit at their table in their homes or restaurants and listen to them. Discussions about men, about marriages, about disapointments, betrayals, children, babies, about learning, grieg and joys.

At first I would not talk much, for even if I am a big mouth, I felt I was too young to have a valid opinion about those things. As years went by, I began to find my own 'voice' and use it. Sharing opinions, ideas. Sometimes arguing and fighting. Sometimes smiling from ear to ear in blissful agreement. Some would vocally regret their marriage, whishing they had the courage to divorce and set themselves free. Some would say they couldn't live without their husbands and were perfectly happy. Some would only find joy in their children, hobbies, or work.

A couple of days ago we were having dinner at my mother's best friend house. We were all talking about M and I's respective future (M being the best friend's daughter, 2 years younger than me, whom I have known my entire life). They were talking about how we both changed throughout the years, becoming the women we are now.
'We are strong, educated, driven women for sure', I said. 'But also slightly desillusioned when it comes to partnership'.

'What do you mean?' asked my mother's friend.

'Well I feel having grown up around you all has been hugely benefiting to me. To us. I learned to never trust anyone but myself. I learned to set goals for myself. And myself only. To not depend on anyone else for my happiness, even if it's hard to do. To make sure I will have a job and be independant, and will not be trapped in a miserable or abusive relationship. To find things outside a husband that will make me feel complete. To give the finger to society's prejudices. To be what I wanted to be. That's more than most of your generation's women have been able to do'. 'And that's a good thing right?'

'Well yes. But the drawback is, preparing us for the worst have, I think, also prepared us to always be let down by men. To always anticipate infidelity, betrayal, lack of trust, sudden dissapearances. I also know a lot of women my generation feel the same way. We're better prepared in terms of independance if ever sh!t hits the fan, but we also lost our illusions'.

'Jessica, you need to have a reality check', she replied very seriously. 'Weddings are great but in the future i predict women will have many partners in their lives, even very serious ones. Because women and men are now given the choice to break off their mutual engagement, instead of having to suffer a lifelong disastrous marriage which often made both parties miserable. What is the divorce rate nowadays? One in four?'

'I know, I know! I guess maybe a small part of me just wants to think that sharing 50 years a more of my life with a partner or maybe husband sounds good. Maybe it sounds reassuring, which would make me lazy. Maybe it's just romantic, which I am even if I try very very hard to hide. But I want to believe that love is out there. I'm tired of always anticipating to be let down. Quite frankly it ruins the relationships.'

'Yes, I hear you'

'...Even if most of the times I end up feeling let down. But I'm young and hopeful and people will change. I will change.', I laughed.

----------------------

And it felt good to be understood, as well as challenged. It is part of what it takes to truly become a woman. The whole learning process. The discussions, the debates, the shared experiences. It is extremely empowering. That's correct the word.

I will never forget a night in Vancouver I spent with my ex boyfriend P. (then still a journalism student) and so-called influent journalists. It was a brainstorming meeting concerning the Straight's future, I believe. One of the journalist/editor, whose work I still greatly respect, told P:

'Hey, who cares, you'll end up with a great carreer if you want to. You have all the right cards in hands. You are a white, tall, good looking middle class man. The world is waiting for you'.

Part of me wanted to spit in his face for having the composure to say something so discriminatory in front of me, but part of me wanted to say 'Hell, you're right, he'll have it easy. You had it easy. But at least I'll know how to fight. And if I fight well, I'll have your job'.

ROCK N ROLL IS DEAD

2006-01-04T15:47:00.000-08:00

Picture illustrating the downfall of rock n roll in a conceptual modern dance movement.

Thanks to Rob who provided the link, as well as Matt who was the first to use the specific term today while talking to me, I am now depressed as hell after reading a Newsweek article about the new sub-hip-group 'Yupsters'. They might as well be the worst subgroup ever created by Gen Y-X. Kiss goodbye the edge of rock n roll NOW, kids.

Cowboy Soy, MBA says:
I believe the new phrase is "yupster"
Cowboy Soy, MBA says:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10663349/site/newsweek/
jess says:
too funny, someone used the same exact word in a convo today
jess says:
i replied 'yupsters sounds like ppl i'd probably hate' if defined as the OC guys
jess says:
i'm gonna be so mad if the hip scene is invaded by yuppies
jess says:
SO MAD
jess says:
this is the most depressing article i've read in weeks
Cowboy Soy, MBA says:
hahaha
Cowboy Soy, MBA says:
I don;t think that's the point
Cowboy Soy, MBA says:
it's more that young people who join the establishment don't have to idenify with the culture and values anymore
Cowboy Soy, MBA says:
or at least that's my positive take on it
jess says:
no, i think it's more like 'hipster music is now sold via extremely commercial means such as TV shows and because TV makes it cool, suits think it's cool'.

I usually look better than this, no really, I swear.

2006-01-03T13:24:00.000-08:00

Taken on new year, that is before the Ditta Von Teese dying hair episod. Don't ask me about the semi naked picture, all I know is my skirt was up in the tree and it was Midnight. Good times!

Heaven restores you in life

2006-01-02T07:30:00.000-08:00

In an attempt to try to look like Dita von Teese, I dyed my hair black today. Well maybe I just wanted to look like Carlos D's fiancée. Either way, it worked (the black color thing at least), since I now have Darker than Hell hair. I always had a thing for Burlesque and Pin up imagery. I used to like suicide girls when it was still very underground.

New Year, new face. I also decided to remove most of my piercings, which shall be done very soon.

New Year Eve was terrible. Absolute nightmare. Well it was great until one o'clock. Great food, great laughs, great wines, not-so-great music but I wasn't going to complain. G. tried to do gymnastic in his garden and ran away with my skirt in hands at midnight, me running after him wearing stockings, Boris wearing nothing but boxers, I wonder how THAT happened.

Then another friend has a massive panic attack/hysterical nervous breakdown and we spent 2 hours trying to get her to sleep and calm her down, and quite frankly it was quite an horrific experience.

Went to bed at 4.30. Fell asleep at 8.30. Wope up at noon. Happy New Year 2006.

Since alcohol doesn't have any effect on us anymore, and we could save money not buying alcohol, Boris and I decided to stop drinking for a fair amount of time. Well I know I will because I decided to concentrate on being more productive (write my memoire and then get the hell out of France = ressources needed), but I bet serious money Boris will fail :)